Check, Please

Donald Trump is determined that someone is going to pay for his wall.

“Hola!” You had better get used to the greeting folks because, apparently, we have all become citizens of Mexico. Remember a few short months ago when, then candidate, Donald Trump would gin up the crowd with taunts like: “We are going to build the wall. It’s going to be a great wall; and who’s going to pay for it?” Which would cue the response: “MEXICO!”

trump wallWell, it seems Mexico has moved it’s seat of power to Washington D.C., because now President Trump is threatening Congress with a government shutdown if they don’t allocate funds to construct that very same wall. Yup. The president, or is it presidente, is demanding our congress pay for the wall with U.S. tax dollars paid by U.S. tax payers. Que diablos!

Fortunately the transition won’t be too jarring. Both Mexico and the former United States have a lot in common. We both drive on the right side of the road and everybody loves Mexican food so most of us won’t even notice the change. What the heck, I’ll bet most reading this, didn’t even know the change had come. See how easy and seamless that was.

The only fly in the guacamole is our legislature. Funding for the wall (and it is a truly great wall, believe me) has to be put into the yearly budget. That budget has to be written and approved by the legislature. But leadership in both the house and senate seem unwilling to budge in their opposition to adding an additional 70 billion dollars to that budget. That’s 1.228 trillion pesos amigos. That’s a passel of pesos.

In response, Donald Trump has said he is willing to shut down the government, in an apparent effort to force Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan to whip members of the legislative branch into voting for the money to fund the project. When asked about it by reporters, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said: “The president is committed to making sure this gets done. We know that the wall and other security measures at the border work, we’ve seen that take place over the last decade, and we’re committed to making sure the American people are protected.”

So let me get this straight. The president is committed to protecting the American people. In fact, he’s so committed, he is poised to shut down the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, or OSHA, The Mine Safety and Health Administration, and pink slip airline safety inspectors. We appreciate your concern, Mr. President.

Also in line to be closed or severely curtailed are the: EPA, FCC, NTSB and Nuclear Regulatory Commission. I’m feeling more protected already. Last time this happened the National Security Agency furloughed 4000 computer scientists whose job was to investigate cyber attacks. And it defunded the office of Special Council. Hmm, nothing to see here folks. Just move along.

This is what it all comes down to. The House and Senate will approve a budget and pass it on to the President. He, in turn, either accepts the bill or sends it back to congress for further tweaking. He also has the option of a flat out veto. That means congress starts again from scratch. In both the, send it back and veto scenarios, the bill goes unsigned and large portions of the government go unfunded and consequently shut down.

That sounds pretty grim, but there is a bright side to all this. Follow closely because the logic of this is impeccable. The president has demanded that Mexico pay for the wall, and he is demanding congress include funding for the wall in the budget, and members of congress represent you and I ergo we are Mexican. That has already been established.

Now let’s take this a little further. I’m pretty sure our new country will not tolerate this sort of attack on the fundamental structure of our government. After all what’s the point of forming a government if it doesn’t look out for the well-being of it’s citizens. If it doesn’t have the interests of it’s constituents at heart than it’s nothing more than a corrupt, power hungry machine whose only benefit will be to those in power and whose likely legacy will be turmoil and eventual destruction.

You see. President Trump knew what he was doing all along. By putting the squeeze on lawmakers, he has assured us that our safety and security will go unimpeded into the new century. Of course we had to become Mexico to accomplish this, but that just shows you how far this president will go for your benefit. Make Mexico Great Again.

There is still one thing that puzzles me however. If we are now part of Mexico, why are we building a wall across the middle of our country?

Chuck Legge
Latest posts by Chuck Legge (see all)