[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Catch Me If You Can: Trump’s Plan to Avoid Being Indicted

“Out of sight, out of mind” seems to be Trump’s plan, according to investigators.

For everyone wondering what was behind Trump’s recent, over-the-top, crazy enthusiastic promotion of the Air Force’s F-35 Stealth Fighter, we now have the answer.

Trump's planAs you may recall at numerous venues, in front of dignitaries and big crowds, the president talked on and on about the “invisible” plane, “you can’t see it,” and how it would be great in a fight like the kind you see in the movies. Sure, it’s a great aircraft but one of many super weapons in the US arsenal. So why is the president so fixated on this one? Well, some of our undercover sources just may have uncovered the what’s really going on.

As the evidence mounts into the probe of Trump’s collusion and obstruction of justice with Russia, he may find himself under indictment or worse. Which begs the question: How will he escape such an inglorious fate? The answer, according to some, is the F-35. Trump’s plan is to hide in plain sight by traveling the country and the world in the invisible plane. “It’s invisible you can’t see it, so it’s like I’m not there,” Trump recently told close associates. “Guiliani said I can’t be indicted if no one can find me.”

The clever escape plan, code-named “flying Houdini,” is already in motion. And that’s where the president’s old pal Chris Christie comes into the picture.

A recent Star Ledger headline asked, “Where’s Christie?” — referring to the apparent disappearance of the former NJ Governor and loyal Trump supporter. But Christie hasn’t gone anywhere. He’s just hiding by using the F-35 to ferry him around the state and country. According to one White House source, “Chris is the guinea pig testing the plan. If the plane can hide him, it can certainly hide the president.” Initially cool to the idea, Christie changed his mind when informed that the plane would be customized to include a doughnut shop and a beach chair.

To date, Trump has ordered the military to develop dozens of F-35s, including several larger versions outfitted with a putting green, a golf machine and a McDonalds.

Not content to spend so much time in the air, the president has tasked the Pentagon to undertake a high-level research project designed to make Mar-a-Lago invisible. Rumors that he’s also looking for a way to make Melania disappear were vehemently denied by an official spokesperson.

The following two tabs change content below.
Larry Dell

Larry Dell

Larry Dell is a writer, artist and former public relations executive. He was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY and currently resides in East Orange, NJ. Previously, he was the arts and entertainment reporter for "The Local," a NY Times website covering several northern N.J. towns.
Humor Times: 'World's Funniest News Source'