[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Anti-Quarantine Protestors Express Frustration Over Shutdowns

Encouraged by Trump, anti-quarantine protestors demand action.

Right-wing advocates Ander Anderson and Roger Dolt were two of the protestors present at an anti-quarantine demonstration held today in Hicksburg, Virginia. Actually, because of social-distancing guidelines, they were the only two activists allowed to attend the event. Still, they rated the protest a major success, despite a warning from local police to “keep it down so that Mrs. McMarter next door could take her nap.”

anti-quarantine protestors demand action“We accomplished what we meant to do, which was to protest our free speech,” Anderson explained.

“Lock her up!” added Dolt.

“After all,” Anderson went on, “If your doctor gave you some medicine and told you to take it every day for two weeks, but then you felt better after just one week, it wouldn’t make any sense to keep on taking the medicine. Especially if it tasted  bad!”

“Yuk!” agreed Dolt.

“Besides, I’m wearing my tiger mask from last Halloween, so I’ll be safe enough.”

“Make America Again Again!” Dolt chimed in.

“All we’re saying,” Anderson concluded, “is that we believe Donald Trump’s hunches more than we believe what we’re told by liberal elitist artsy-fartsy scientists. After all, what have we got to lose?”

The pair disappeared shortly after being told (jokingly) that Donald Trump had just jumped out a window, and haven’t been seen since.

Ralph Lombard