The Trump Translator App

The president does not always say what he means, hence the need for this special Trump Translator app!

Trump TranslatorFor almost four years now, folks have been inundated with sound clips, speeches and tweets from Donald Trump. Given the wealth of communications from the President, one would think that his message is clear but sadly such is not the case.

The problem, it turns out, is that Mr. Trump does not always say what he means. In fact, more often than not, his meaning is entirely different from his statements. Hence the need for a special Trump Translator app to figure out what the man is really saying.

Here are just a few examples of what one can divine from the Trump Translator:

Donald Trump: “That’s a lie. It’s fake news.”
Trump Translator: “It’s 100% true. I can’t dispute these findings so I have to call it fake news.”

DT: “If we rely entirely on mail-in ballots, this election will be a disaster.”
TT: “Mail-in ballots are fine; even I use them. I’m just trying to disrupt the election in case I have to claim the results are fraudulent.”

DT: “Vote twice. Mail your ballot and then show up in person on voting day to show that the system is broken.”
TT: “My polling numbers aren’t looking good so please help me screw up the election any way you can even if it means you’ll go to jail.”

DT: “I love our military vets.”
TT: “Except the losers and suckers who died.”

DT: “I’m going to drain the swamp.”
TT: “I’m going to drain the U. S. Treasury for my personal benefit.”

DT: “One day, it’s like a miracle. It will disappear.”
TT: “And believe me I know miracles. After all, somehow I was elected President.”

DT: “I’m going to build a wall and make Mexico pay for it.”
TT: “Can you believe it? My idiot supporters just love this idea.”

DT: “Unlike so many who came before, I keep my promises.”
TT: “The only promise I will honor is to help myself first.”

DT: “We’re going to cut taxes for the middle class.”
TT: “That’s true only if you consider middle class to be over a million dollars in annual income.”

DT: “Make America great again.”
TT: “Make me wealthy again.”

DT: “I’ve felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.”
TT: “I didn’t have a clue; I can barely spell pandemic.”

DT: “I’ve done more for Black people than anyone with the possible exception of Lincoln.”
TT: “The only Black people I’ve ever helped are Omarosa and Ben Carson.”

DT: “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
TT:  “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

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