As Billionaires Jeff Bezos & Richard Branson take flight – Chris Columbus does commentary on his Holiday & other misinformation!
SOME SAY these 2 Billionaires should find something more charitable to do with their money than piss it away on their 10 minute narcissistic shtick.
SOME SAY they’re in phallic competition with each other & rich boys will be boys.
SOME SAY it’s their money, isn’t it?
Well, Chris Columbus (aka Christopher Columbus) wanted a say too!
And I was lucky enough to listen-in to his old, old Podcast. Sure, the sound goes in & out & he needs a shave but here it is:
“The Billionaires? They just want to be in the History Books & well, so did Amerigo Vespucci! ha ha
But I went, I came back – I got a Holiday!
What did he get? Scurvy! What a wimp. And, that does not go well with gluten intolerance – I’m telling you!
October 12, 1492! Okay, I was kinda slow – my Checks still said 1491!
I didn’t get a Holiday right away. In 1937, Roosevelt made it a National Holiday only after the Knights of Columbus told him ‘Get in da car’!
I’m proud of that!
And I did it all before Mapquest & my GPS was one of those cheap ones – you had to stop in Chicago!
Everybody thinks The Nina, The Pinta & The Santa Maria came as a Set – no, I won them on 3 Friday nights playing ‘Hold em’ & they leak! No more ‘Home Games’!
BTW, the world is not flat – Delores is! Okay, you got me – she wouldn’t come along! Something about her hair, can’t swim… my wife!
Queen Isabella & King Ferdinand of Spain bankrolled this 3 hour tour, but it took 36 days & the men started to look good to me!
I said I was looking for Spices – ha! I was really looking for Gold – but didn’t want them nosing around – my Tax Returns were still in Audit!
I had so much fun on this trip, I went 4 times. The ‘In & Out Burger’ was that good! The wife? I sent her postcards from Cabo!
Oh, I didn’t mention my sense of direction. What can I say – the Bahamas sort of looks like Cleveland!
Okay, okay – I’ll share my little October 12th Holiday with Leif Erikson, a Norse Viking who probably landed in present day Newfoundland almost 5 centuries before I set sail! But, nobody changed the History Books & I’m not complaining!
Well, except no Easter Eggs – that’s my complaint! Or Fireworks – geez!
If those frigin’ Astronut Billionaires get Fireworks – I’ll…I’ll prove that Donald Trump was never President”!
** In 2019, 14 U.S. States are now observing “Indigenous Peoples Day” instead of or in addition to Columbus Day!
The chance of seeing Easter Eggs for Chris is getting slimmer!
- Kringle Thinks He’s Single & Unwraps His Dating Profile: ‘MUST LOVE DEER!’ - November 29, 2023
- Everybody in this Movie is Dead! - November 14, 2023
- Top 10 Ways to Get Rid of Candy Corn after Halloween! - November 3, 2023