Chris Columbus Gives Notes to Billionaires in Space Race

Chris Columbus

Jeff Bezos

As Billionaires Jeff Bezos & Richard Branson take flight – Chris Columbus does commentary on his Holiday & other misinformation!

SOME SAY these 2 Billionaires should find something more charitable to do with their money than piss it away on their 10 minute narcissistic shtick.

SOME SAY they’re in phallic competition with each other & rich boys will be boys.

SOME SAY it’s their money, isn’t it?

Well, Chris Columbus (aka Christopher Columbus) wanted a say too!

Chris Columbus

Chris Columbus

 And I was lucky enough to listen-in to his old, old Podcast.  Sure, the sound goes in & out & he needs a shave but here it is:

“The Billionaires?  They just want to be in the History Books & well, so did Amerigo Vespucci!  ha ha

But I went, came back – I got a Holiday!

What did he get?  Scurvy!  What a wimp.  And, that does not go well with gluten intolerance – I’m telling you!

October 12, 1492!  Okay, I was kinda slow – my Checks still said 1491!

I didn’t get a Holiday right away.  In 1937, Roosevelt made it a National Holiday only after the Knights of Columbus told him ‘Get in da car’! 

I’m proud of that!

And I did it all before Mapquest & my GPS was one of those cheap ones – you had to stop in Chicago!

Everybody thinks The Nina, The Pinta & The Santa Maria came as a Set – no, I won them on 3 Friday nights playing ‘Hold em’ & they leak!   No more ‘Home Games’!

BTW, the world is not flat – Delores is!  Okay, you got me – she wouldn’t come along!  Something about her hair, can’t swim… my wife!

Queen Isabella & King Ferdinand of Spain bankrolled this 3 hour tour, but it took 36 days & the men started to look good to me!

I said I was looking for Spices – ha!  I was really looking for Gold – but didn’t want them nosing around – my Tax Returns were still in Audit!

I had so much fun on this trip, I went 4 times.  The ‘In & Out Burger’ was that good!  The wife?  I sent her postcards from Cabo!

Oh, I didn’t mention my sense of direction.  What can I say – the Bahamas sort of looks like Cleveland!

Okay, okay – I’ll share my little October 12th Holiday with Leif Erikson, a Norse Viking who probably landed in present day Newfoundland almost 5 centuries before I set sail!  But, nobody changed the History Books & I’m not complaining!

Well, except no Easter Eggs – that’s my complaint!  Or Fireworks – geez!

If those frigin’ Astronut Billionaires get Fireworks – I’ll…I’ll prove that Donald Trump was never President”!

** In 2019, 14 U.S. States are now observing “Indigenous Peoples Day” instead of or in addition to Columbus Day! 

The chance of seeing Easter Eggs for Chris is getting slimmer!

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