Back in the day, these Top 10 Sex Romps were the wackiest sex scandals, tabloid sensations & fodder for comedians!
Top 10 Sex Romps & Wackiest Sex Scandals:
10 MONICA LEWINSKY & OL’ KNEE PADS BILL!
- 1998 Well, somebody was wearin’ ’em!
9 Congressman ANTHONY WEINER & HIS WEINER PICS!
- Hey Tony, with a name like that – you don’t go there!
- 2011 He was paroled after serving time for using Twitter to transfer obscene material to a miner…oh, a minor too! Gimme a break, he was really proud!
8 CLARENCE THOMAS, ANITA HILL & A COKE CAN!
- 1991 Under oath, Attorney Advisor Anita Hill complained to the world of unwanted advances & lewd comments by Supreme Court Nominee Clarence Thomas.
- On Live TV, Senators badgered Hill about large breasted women, a Porn Star named Long Dong Silver & pubic hair on a Coke Can & to this day that image made me switch to ‘Newman’s Own Lemonade’!
- As expected, He became a Supreme Court Judge & Anita Hill misunderstood. Thanks to her – today, we don’t play that!
7 Senator LARRY CRAIG & THE AIRPORT TOILET STALL!
- This guy just doesn’t know how to wait for Planes doing Crosswords!
- 2007 Larry Craig was arrested for lewd conduct in a men’s bathroom at the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport & accused of soliciting sex. But don’t worry, he later entered ‘a Guilty Pee’ for a lesser charge!
6 Congressman WILBUR MILLS/FANNE FOXE/TIDAL BASIN JUMP!
- 1974 Pulled over by police late one night in D.C., Wilbur Mills’ Mistress Fanne Foxe, trying to protect his reputation, panicked & jumped into the Tidal Basin screaming into 10 feet of cold water with the fishes.
- Because of no Cell Phones in those days – there were no photos of the naked Sole!
Again, I’m sorry!
5 HEIDI FLEISS ‘HOLLYWOOD MADAM’S’ BLACK BOOK!
- From A to Z, this Client Book was worth its (kilo) weight in gold – especially to Charlie Sheen!
- 1994 At age 22, Heidi Fleiss ran an upscale prostitution ring based in L.A. She said, on her slowest night she made $10,000 & was so successful she was able to reject women who wanted to work for her!
Damn, I told her I cuddle & she still said no!
4 President JIMMY CARTER & A CENTERFOLD!
- Oops, my bad – just a Wet Dream!!
- 1981 “I’ve looked on many women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this & forgives me”!
- Go figure – this oldest living President is married 75 years!
3 STORMY DANIELS & ‘GRAB’EM BY-THE-RUMP’ TRUMP!
- 2006 This Porn Star was given $130,000 for sex for one time – all I can say is, I’m in the wrong business!
2 JEFFREY TOOBIN – HARVARD GRAD/LAWYER/AUTHOR/TV LEGAL ANALYST!
- 2020 Accidently, this ‘Zoom Savant’ got caught during a work-related Video Conference Call with his zipper down playing with what Monkeys call their ‘Entertainment Center’!
- Later he said, ‘It was deeply moronic, indefensible & unintentional’ & don’t mind the couch. On the Porch. In the winter!
And #1 LORENA BOBBITT & BOBLESS BOBBITT!
- 1993 Wife Lorena, gets an 8 inch kitchen knife & cuts off the penis of her sleeping husband John. But that’s not the take-away. Well, I guess it is!
- She got in her car & threw the severed organ into a field 15 minutes away in Manassas, Virginia.
But there’s more!
- The penis was found by ‘Penis Dicks’ (Detectives) who rushed it to a hospital. Needless to say, the Penis was pissed & didn’t want to be reattached – but it was successful & John Wayne Bobbitt tried it out immediately, but got a lot of advice:
Robin Williams said: I know man – “You’re gonna feel like Adam when he said to Eve, ‘Back up – I don’t know how big it gets'”!
Rodney Dangerfield said: “I went to a Hooker. I dropped my pants…she dropped her price”!
And, Woody Allen: “Remember, if you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast”!
Sorry, no Pics! haha
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