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[Disclaimer: This article is a "fake news" piece. Proceed at your own risk!]

Exclusive Interview: Trump Reveals Real Reason Behind His Political Success

Mar 042016
 
 By , March 4, 2016

Donald Trump discusses his unexpected rise to Republican front-runner status

In a startling revelation in a Humor Times interview, Donald Trump finally disclosed the real reason behind his unexpected rise as the leading contender for the Republican presidential nomination.

Donald Trump“It’s quite simple,” he said flippantly, “I sold my soul to the devil.”

“That’s a joke, of course,” replied this astonished reporter.

“No, no, I’m serious. Haven’t you ever heard the expression, ‘Politics makes strange bedfellows?’” he shot back, grinning.

“This is unbelievable, a real first,” this reporter exclaimed.

“Not really, there are plenty of precedents throughout history and literature: Caligula, the Medicis, Faust, Dick Chenney.”

“Aren’t people going to be afraid now that Satan would be running the country?”

“Hell no, do you think I would cut a deal if anyone would be in charge but me?! Do you think I’m going to let the Supreme Court, the Pentagon, much less some evil spirit tell me what to do? Besides, he was satisfied that I probably wouldn’t do anything different from the way he would do it anyway,” Trump said with a wink.

“But you’re going to lose the Religious Right,” this reporter insisted.

“Some will come along hoping to save my soul, some will stick around with their bleeding heart compassion, but whoever I lose, I’ll more than make up with the support of the David Dukes, drug cartels, and the porn and strip club enthusiasts of this country.”

“Do you have any regrets about your arrangement?”

“Just one. I should have asked ol’ Beelzebub to do something about my hair.”

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Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire. Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.
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