Los Angeles Dodgers Being Deported - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN

5 Star Extra Special Edition! President begins deporting the Los Angeles Dodgers.

President Donald Trump’s “Deport LA” program was to have kicked off in July, but the Los Angeles Dodgers Baseball team’s refusal to allow ICE agents entry into their stadium parking lot has drawn the president’s ire. He decided to kick off “Deport LA” by immediately ordering that the entire Dodgers organization be immediately deported.

Los Angeles Dodgers Stadium — Photo: Cody Williams, CC BY-SA 4.0.

The incident occurred recently when ICE agents arrived at the stadium to search the crowd for illegals, but stadium security denied them entry. This radical behavior was immediately relayed to the White House.

Within the hour, the stadium was surrounded by Marines and ICE Swat teams. The game was called and the Dodger players and front office personnel were unceremoniously spirited away, deported to the Republic of Asseragge.

In Asseragge, the Dodgers will be allowed to continue playing their scheduled games. All their games will be home games since they are barred from re-entering the US.

The team will face several problems. The major sport in Asseragge is Penisball, and they will have to play their games in the Penis Dome which seats only 357.

There is also the matter of transportation. No major airlines serve the Republic of Asseragge. Their official air carrier is Airfhart Airlanes, whose largest airliner, the Bongo 37, seats only 14 people.

Dodger star player Shohei Otahni says that he may solve all these problems by simply buying the Republic of Asseragge with funds from his MLB meal per diem.

SNN Words to Live By

“Where is the shithole?” — Borat (Sascha Baron Cohen), “Borat” film.

“Patience is not a virtue, it’s a strategy.” — Pro Wrestler Paul Heyman.

The Question

What was the last thing you signed with an autopen? (Leave your answer in the comments below!)

Author’s pick: Divorce papers.

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.