Trump vs Mamdani: WWE SummerSlam - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

This year’s WWE SummerSlam features “Trump vs Mamdani” in the first-ever “Billionaire Bunker-Buster-Bomb Flaming Death Match.”

The world of professional wrestling and world politics will meet at the upcoming WWE event known as “SummerSlam,” in “Trump vs Mamdani” — US President Donald Trump will battle up-and-coming Democrat star Zohran Mamdani.

Trump vs Mamdani - SummerSlam — Photo: 3bulletproof16 at en.wikipedia, Public Domain.

The event features the first ever “23 out of 34 Falls” in what’s being billed as the first-ever “Billionaire Bunker-Buster-Bomb Flaming Death Match.”

In WWE, most matches are “2 out of 3 falls,” where a wrestler or team needs to win two falls (or matches) to win the overall contest. This type of match is also known as a “best of three falls” match.

Setting up an intense match for the ages, Mr. Trump says that Mamdani’s “Democratic Socialist ideas” are a “threat to US Democracy,” while Mamdani says that the world should “rid itself of rich a-holes like Trump.”

The match stipulates that for every fall that Mr. Trump loses, he must toss a million dollars in cash to the audience, and for every fall that Mr. Mamdani loses, he must purchase a million dollars each in Trump “Stablecoin” and Slobovian “Krappecoin.”

Mr. Trump predicts that at the end of the match, Mr. Mamdani will be an “ass-kicked billionaire.” Special referees for the match will be Bernie Sanders and Elon Musk.

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SNN Words to Live By

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“Sometimes the good you do doesn’t do you any good.” — Arthur Branch (Fred Dalton Thompson), Law and Order TV series.

“Essence of Weasel Frew should be free for all citizens.” — Slobbo Roman Emperor Slabbe the Grunte, 457 BC.

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.