Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
Popular sports gossip jockey claims Jeffrey Epstein introduced Donald Trump to the First Lady.
On his weekly worldwide broadcast on Bullepisse Radio, well known sports gossip radio host Fummppo Mr. Horse Hockey Gazzonkman stated that both US President Donald Trump and his then buddy Jeffrey Epstein were huge Slobovian Horse Hockey fans and attended many games in Slobovia.
He stated that they both attended the 1998 Geldingbashhe (The Horse Hockey World Series), after which Epstein threw a huge post game orgy on the Isle of Poontang. It was there, he said, that Epstein introduced Trump to a young model named Melania, and that “the rest is history.”
However, former Slobovian Horse Hockey Commissioner Bobtail Nagge stated that what Mr. Gazzonkman said cannot be proven, since at that particular orgy there were at least 150 girls there named Melania.
Breaking Sex News
Robot and Drone Hookers Coming to New York City.
Breaking News
Activist Threatens Self-Immolation on White House Steps if First “d” is not Removed from “Wednesday.”
SNN Words to Live By
“It’s okay to ask for what you want.” — TV judge Dana Cutler.
“Everybody’s a suspect.” — Det. Ed Green (Jesse L. Martin), “Law and Order,” TV series.
“Don’t trust your soul to no backwoods southern lawyer.” — Vicki Lawrence, The Night That “The Lights Went Out In Georgia,” 1970’s song.
The Question
What movie has the all-time greatest soundtrack? (Leave your answer in the comments below!)
Author’s pick: American Graffiti – “We Been Having Fun All Summer Long.”
- Sports Gossip Radio Host: Epstein Introduced Donald to Melania - August 12, 2025
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