American’s fallen Mayor, Rudy Giuliani seeks help from Santa with his big unrepentant Giuliani Wish List!
Dear Santa,
Okay, you caught me in a bad year! Last year wasn’t so hot either! Haha. Well, John Gotti had a list too – so there’s that! I’m in a jam Santa & I don’t mean a bowlful of Jelly!
Maybe you heard I don’t have $150 Million dollars – but I know a guy! But just in case he doesn’t come thru – 1 Million is fine! And, anything on my Giuliani Wish List would help this old lawyer who lost his way.
You want ‘Amends’ – I’ll bunk with ‘Prancer’ – anything!
I figure if I can clean up Times Square – I can shovel frigin’ snow off your sleigh!
Mayor, Schmayor – I can still get a table at Katz’s Deli in the city & this time it’s on me!
Just ask for ‘The Rudy’: Baloney lying on a bed of tongue! Wash it down with Dr. Brown’s soda sweating in the can!
On your way out – don’t forget to grab a handful of Ginger Mints! haha (Those hip New Yorkers don’t miss a thing!)
And park the sleigh anywhere – I’m still Mayor or think I am!
So here’s the TOP 10 CLAUSES ON THIS OLD LAWYER’S WISH LIST YOU CAN’T REFUSE!
10. Get Trump to return my phone calls!
9. Talk to my kids – they said, ‘GO FUND YOURSELF’ or something like that!
8, Lend me your suit & beard – I see a Brinks Truck!
7. Sleigh me to Vegas – I feel Lucky!
6. Check the Age Limit for a Paper Route!
5. See if Pinocchio wants his Nose back!
4. Put in a good word for me at the ‘Elves Employment Office’!
3. See if my old ‘L’Oreal Hair Dye Lawsuit’ still has legs!
2. Take a 2nd Look at my “Shark Tank” idea of ‘Driverless Sleigh’!
And #1 How’s the ‘Singles’ Situation on the North Po…
Damn, I don’t have any COOKIES & MILK… so ‘TAKE THE CANNOLI’!
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