Putin discovers Twitter and trolls Trump, lovingly.
The tweets in text format:
Trump: Roses are overrated. @MelaniaTrump is correctly-rated.
Putin: @realDonaldTrump Roses are red. I am too. Democrats are blue because of Kremlin.
Trump: @MelaniaTrump I have the best heart! So healthy. It beats totally normally when I’m around you.
Putin: @realDonaldTrump I could make your heart stop by bending my pinky finger, but I don’t do.
Trump: @MelaniaTrump I am tremendously rich. I could buy so many ladies. But I chose you.
Putin: @realDonaldTrump I have ransom on FED server. Your money is my money, no? This is love.
Trump: @MelaniaTrump These hands are big enough to grab you. Believe me!
Putin: @realDonaldTrump I grab many people in van but you I take on my horse. This is no euphemism. I have horse.
Trump: Roses could afford to lose a few petals.
Putin: @realDonaldTrump I can arrange.
Trump: @MelaniaTrump I love you even when your bleeding from you’re wherever.
Putin: @realDonaldTrump I love you to pieces. Tiny tiny pieces.
Trump: @MelaniaTrump Ivanka, you are a 10!
Putin: @realDonaldTrump America, I mean microwave supper, you are a 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4 …
Trump: I love the constitution like I love women. What does that say? You tell me!
Putin: @realDonaldTrump Also I have kinky thing for documentation. I did not know we had in common. I am shock.
Trump: @MelaniaTrump Wrong. I loved you first.
Putin: @realDonaldTrump Ivanka rhymes with Sri Lanka. Could be useful.
Donald J. Trump Retweeted
John Donne @johndonne . Feb 13
I wonder, by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved? Were we not weaned till then?
But sucked on country pleasures, childishly?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers’ den?
Pushkin @pushkin . Feb 11
In alien lands I keep the body
Of ancient native rites and things:
I gladly free a little birdie
At celebration of the spring.
Trump: @MelaniaTrump My heart’s like a plastic banana container. No smush. It’s incredibly incredibly hard.
VladPutin: @realDonaldTrump My heart is like submarine. Room for more ladies than you would think.
Trump: @MelaniaTrump Three words. It’s time for nukey.
VladPutin: @realDonaldTrump Oopsie. Jumped the gun.