[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump Proposes Expanded Plan for Border Protection

Trump wants a buffer zone for “added border protection.”

Trump has come up with an expanded proposal to keep any “illegals” from entering the US, using added border protection.

border protection north koreaThe president said the idea came to him while preparing for his visit with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un. While listening to Ivanka reading to him from a ninth-grade world history book about the Korean War and the subsequent peace negotiations, he learned about the DMZ, the demilitarized zone.

“That gives me a great idea,” he declared, “but they didn’t get it quite right. What we need is a ‘Militarized Zone!’”

In addition to the border wall, Trump is now proposing the creation of a buffer zone twenty miles wide on the Mexican side. Both Mexico and the U.S. will station troops and tanks on either side of a ten mile dividing line.

Trump has invited the Mexican President to Mar-a-Lago to discuss his proposal. He plans on pointing out that Mexico will benefit, because all the cheap labor that cannot now enter the U.S. will be available to help grow the Mexican economy.

The President, however, has contingency plans in case the Mexican President refuses to go along with the idea, as he told an astonished General Mattis. “As Commander-in-Chief, I will order our troops and tanks across the border to seize the territory and hold it.”

When General Mattis informed him that this would be considered an act of war, the President retorted, “We beat the Mexicans before, and now they’re even more out-gunned.”

“But what about Congress?” replied Mattis

“I’ll just remind them that there’s a precedent for taking land from Mexico. Why, it’s a kind of tradition, our Manifest Destiny!”

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Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire. Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.
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