Why I, Donald Trump, Tanked at the 2020 Presidential Debates: Top 10

Finally a mea culpa from our humble president on why he tanked at the 2020 Presidential Debates – but only 10.

Besides being gaseous from 6 Cheese Whoppers & 6 Diet Cokes, Trump went on at the Presidential Debates anyway. Little did we know that on that very night he found out he was Lactose Intolerant!

That said, here’s Donald Trump’s Top 10 for television’s most embarrassing Show of Shows!

10. I WAS HYPNOTIZED BY JOE BIDEN’S TIE!

9. I WAS PISSED – I PAID SEAN HANNITY TO MODERATE & FRICKEN CHRIS WALLACE SHOWED UP!

8. I JUST FIGURED OUT WHY I’M UNDER AUDIT – I STAPLED INSTEAD OF CLIPPED!

7. MELANIA REFUSED PRE-DEBATE SEX & HAD TO TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS!

Sorry about that!

6. I WAS WORRIED I WOULD BLURT OUT MY DEUTSCHE BANK PASSWORD!

5. I WAS THIS CLOSE IN PROVING BIDEN WASN’T BORN IN SCRANTON!

4. I HAD BEDHEAD WHEN I WOKE UP & COULDN’T REACH STORMY DANIELS TO FIX IT!

3. I MIXED HYDROXYCHLORIQUINE WITH MY METAMUCIL & FELT LIKE CRAP!

2. COACHES RUDY GIULIANI & CHRIS CHRISTIE SAID, “JUST BE YOURSELF”!

And, the #1 Reason I had a bad Debate Night…

I HAD ‘THE PROUD BOYS’ OVER FOR TEA THE NIGHT BEFORE & THEY EXPECTED BEER & SHOOTERS!

Author
Recent Posts

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha