Top Ten Classified Secrets Trump Gave Putin

classified secrets

Even with Trump’s ‘Perfect Phone Calls’, he must’ve shared classified secrets during Pillow Talk!

Yes, we cringe to think what secrets Donald Trump gave Vladimir Putin, but since our better angels kept him out of the loop – I think we’re safe!

But, one wonders what U.S. classified secrets he gave during his 4 years as President. Well, according to this Top Ten List – it may not be what you think!

10.  SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO JIGGLE THE TOILET HANDLE IN THE WHITE HOUSE!

*Oh & the Plunger works every other time.

  9.  THE CODE FOR THE NUCLEAR ‘FOOTBALL’ IS…123Covfefe

8.  IF YOU NEED ANY PRISTINE HISTORICAL REFERENCES CALL: MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE!

7.  FYI: LINCOLN’S BED HAS BRAND NEW ‘MY PILLOWS’ IN CASE YOU STORM THE CASTLE & WANT A FEW WINKS!

classified secrets

  6.  Shh…AS PRESIDENT, EVERY THANKSGIVING WE ATE THE PARDONED TURKEY!

5.  Real Estate Tip: TRY TO BUY GREENLAND NOW – BUT NOT RUBLES, THEY’RE NOT RUBES!

4.  HAVE NO FEAR – ALL THE ITEMS YOU ASKED FOR ARE IN BOXES AT MAR-A-LAGO – UNDER P.U.

3.  NO WORRIES – I ATE YOUR LAST COMMUNIQUE FOLLOWED BY A 16 OZ. DIET COKE!

classified secrets

  2.  I GREASED THE WHEELS FOR UKRAINE – YOU CAN HAND OVER ‘THE PEE TAPES’ NOW!

And 1.  SORRY, CAN’T GET YOU THE KEY TO THE CITY OF KYIV BUT HOW ABOUT CUCAMONGA?

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