Liz Cheney Grills Trump! Jan 6th Committee Zeros in on Target #1

Cheney grills Trump

Cheney grills Trump, lassoing her man and gallantly saving her Wyoming reputation!

Wyoming

Enjoy this exclusive sneak preview of an upcoming January 6th hearing — Liz Cheney grills Trump:

DONALD TRUMP

I’ll take the Tater Salad – no fartin’ Beans for me!

LIZ CHENEY

Did you think you were coming to a Barbecue?

TRUMP

It’s not?  And, I wore my dang cowboy boots with Lifts!

Liz Cheney Grills Trump

LIZ CHENEY

You know we have you ‘by the short hairs’, don’t you?

TRUMP

If you find any – you’re welcome to it!

LIZ CHENEY 

No thank you – I’ll let Bruno find them at San Quentin!

Liz Cheney Grills Trump

TRUMP

I have you know, I’m getting a Private Cell – thank you very much!

LIZ CHENEY

Who told you that?

TRUMP

My lawyers, ‘Schwartz, Schwartz & Schwartz’!

LIZ CHENEY

My readers don’t want to hear that sorry old joke! When we’re done – you won’t be able to afford one Schwartz!  

This time – nobody is getting you off!

TRUMP

That’s what Mahalia said last night!

LIZ CHENEY

Don’t you mean Melania?

TRUMP

Matilda, Manila, Melinda – who cares, she left me years ago!

LIZ CHENEY

That’s big news – how did you keep it from us?

TRUMP

Well, luckily you were all too busy trying to get the National Guard to the Capitol!

LIZ CHENEY

She left you on January 6th?

TRUMP

Right before I threw my lunch against the wall.

LIZ CHENEY

You mean you missed lunch that day?

TRUMP (sadly)

And, my wife left me.

LIZ CHENEY

Well, we on the Jan 6th Committee should take that into consideration.

TRUMP

Please do.

LIZ CHENEY

But, just for conformity sake – are you Donald John Trump?

TRUMP

Yes.

LIZ CHENEY

Here’s your Subpoena!


Off the cuff:

LIZ CHENEY

Oh, Donald, if Melania left you years ago, why did you say that Melania rebuffed you last night?

TRUMP

Marilyn Sands says Sex Sells, Comedic License… okay, she doesn’t know how to take it out — are you happy?

Check out an Oldie but Goody companion piece: Transcript: Trump Subpoenaed, Faces Tough Questions.

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