How Trump Will End It All: Top 10 Ideas to Escape Prison Time!

escape prison time

Things are closing in on this ex-president & there’s only one way to escape prison time!

escape prison time

Like all filled with narcissistic shame, Donald Trump spent countless days & nights thinking up ways to end it all and escape prison time, instead of getting convicted for… oh, G-d, let me count the ways!

Trump’s Top 10 Ideas to Escape Prison Time

10. He’ll stand in the middle of 5th avenue during rush hour & hail a speeding off-duty taxi!

POOF!

9.  He’ll superglue his hands to his throat!

8.  He’ll tell Melania to go pick some poison mushrooms!

7.  When he finally has a vasectomy – the doctor slips on a grease spot!

6.  He’ll stay in his tanning bed way too long & ‘orangutans orange’ becomes ‘campfire black’!

escape prison time

5.  He’ll play 10 rounds of golf in one scorching day – 1 diet coke!

4.  He’ll win ‘the Guiness Book of Records’ for most burgers eaten at 2 am & call for his mommy!

burgers

3.  He’ll go to Vegas, put his last million on ‘red’ & get carried out on a stretcher – brain dead!

2.  He’ll borrow Don Jr’s rifle, but accidently shoots him in his ‘arrogance’ – finally losing his voice & balls!

And #1 – He’ll get ‘the ultimate liposuction procedure’ at the spa & Disappears!

escape prison time

POOF!

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