Functional Time Machine Unveiled by Musk

Elon Musk has revealed to the public his newest creation: a fully functional time machine.

Amid a gathering storm of criticism that his business interests are anti-Semitic and racist in nature, entrepreneur (Tesla, SpaceX, Trojan Condoms) and 3rd party creator (American Apartheid Party) Elon Musk has revealed to the public his newest creation: a fully functional time machine.

Addressing reporters from the same Pizza Hut in Selma, Alabama, where Musk introduced the American Apartheid Party last week, the world’s richest man said that development of the device — The Wayback Machine — was now complete. Musk credited his xAI CEO Mister Peabody with spearheading the process, with help from his pet boy, Sherman.

Musk said that the entrepreneurial possibilities with The Wayback Machine are “almost limitless.” He said he could influence global politics, change the outcome of world wars and accelerate or delay the development of medicines or other commodities “on a whim.” Said by insiders to have been in talks with the US President on possible public domain seizure of the time machine, Musk reportedly drew Trump up short by threatening, “I can erase your ass!”

Musk revealed that the “germ of the idea” was created by Peabody in 1959 and that the real impetus for the production occurred in 2021, with the reintroduction into Silicon Valley of “Mr. Natural” blotter LSD. Peabody, a polymath and a genius, is a bowtie-wearing beagle. When he rose to address the onlookers, he bit Musk on the ankle.

The Wayback Machine, aka WABAC, said Musk, stands for Wavelength Acceleration Bidirectional Asynchronous Controller.

“This is heavy shit,” remarked Musk with a crooked grin. Asked by reporters who else comprised the seminal staff for The Wayback, Musk replied that such influencers included 2 Russian immigrants, known only as Boris and Natasha, plus “moose and squirrel.”

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Bill Tope

Bill Tope is a retired (caseworker, cook, construction worker, nude model for art classes, and so on) who lives with his mean little cat Baby.