Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
Theorist says voters are looking for love (of candidates) in all the wrong places, and should look to “The Price Is Right.”
Famed political pundit and theorist Dr. Dolche N. Garbanzo says that the troubles in America are basically because Americans choose their political leaders from the wrong places.
He recently stated that, “Americans choose their political leaders from the wrong places. They pick smooth talking millionaires, career politicians and slick con artists. They should look for real people.
The most real people in America are on the TV show The Price Is Right. People who get excited when they win trip to Bumphukk or they win digital toilet. They holler, they cry, they dance… they kiss Drew Carey. These people make good President and congress people, good mayor, good governor. Next President should be Claudia from Pismo Beach who win 30 thousand dollar Kia Kanopener.”
He added, “Another problem is American Supreme Court — too many damn lawyers. Put guy who deliver Coors Beer on Supreme Court.”
Breaking News
Slobovian President Proposes that War in Ukraine be Settled by a One on One Horse Hockey Game Between Zalensky and Putin.
SNN Words to Live By
“Look out for that dirty dirty lowdown.” — Boz Scaggs, Lowdown, 1970’s song.
“Sometimes you need an asshole.” — Pro Wrestler Adam Copeland.
“It’s so nice to be insane.” — Helen Reddy, Angie Baby, 1970’s song.
The Question
Whose Phone Number is Madison 5-1190?
