[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump: ‘Jury Still Out’ on Laws of Motion; Media Not Sure

‘It’s little green gremlins that make things move,’ he said. ‘Believe me.’ But members of the media were quick to push back, saying not all gremlins are green.

 NYC — Donald Trump said yesterday that “no one is really sure” about Sir Isaac Newton’s Three Laws of Motion, and that he, the President-Elect, believed that physical movement is actually caused by little green gremlins. A few brave media reporters present pushed back, however, questioning if all gremlins are actually green.

media trump gremlin“They’re running around inside everything,” Mr Trump said. “I saw thousands of them on TV. When you touch an object, they get frightened and try to run away. That’s why things move.”

Mr Trump explained that objects stop moving when the “little greenies” get tired and fall asleep.

Told that the overwhelming consensus among scientists is that “motion gremlins” don’t exist, Mr Trump replied that that was just their opinion.

“Physical motion could easily be caused by anything,” he said, “Russia or Jina or even 400 lb gremlins. I mean, who really knows?”

Asked to comment on Mr Trump’s gremlin theory, the Editor of the Wall Street Journal said: “Look, maybe he’s wrong, maybe he’s right, it’s not our job to say.

“Like the rest of the media, we’re just here to sell advertising space.”

Michael Egan

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