Trump: Western Science is Like Slovenian Women

Trump: Western Science is Like Slovenian Women

“You never know what you’re gonna get and when you do they suddenly change their minds.” The President added: “So-called Western science tells ya one thing and then … Read more Trump: Western Science is Like Slovenian Women

Mike Pence Plans Gigantic National Exorcism to Combat Coronavirus

Mike Pence Plans Gigantic National Exorcism to Combat Coronavirus

The VP, in charge of the U.S. response to the outbreak, says “Coronavirus” is just a “fancy liberal word for demonic possession,” plans national exorcism “as soon as … Read more Mike Pence Plans Gigantic National Exorcism to Combat Coronavirus

Trump Orders Movie Version of ‘Unreadable’ Constitution

Trump Orders Movie Version of ‘Unreadable’ Constitution

“It’s a disgrace that people are still expected to read this deep-state argy-bargy,” the President said, quoting Justice Scalia. “It’s time for a sexy movie version that real … Read more Trump Orders Movie Version of ‘Unreadable’ Constitution

Kim Jong-Un Says Trump is ‘Stalking’ Him, Demands Restraining Order

Kim Jong-Un Says Trump is ‘Stalking’ Him, Demands Restraining Order

“Okay, so I wrote the old dotard a couple of nice letters once,” the North Korean leader admitted in his demand for a restraining order, “but I’m tired … Read more Kim Jong-Un Says Trump is ‘Stalking’ Him, Demands Restraining Order

Trump Demands People Magazine’s 2019 ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ Award

Trump Demands People Magazine’s 2019 ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ Award

“Li’l Johnny Legend needs to chill,” the President sneered about this year’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” “He should  go to a good old-fashioned Rocky movie to see a real … Read more Trump Demands People Magazine’s 2019 ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ Award

Trump’s Bone-Spurs ‘Miraculously Disappear’ After Faith Healer’s ‘Laying-on-of- Hands’ Exorcism

Trump’s Bone-Spurs ‘Miraculously Disappear’ After Faith Healer’s ‘Laying-on-of- Hands’ Exorcism

Stunned podiatrists declare president’s feet to be entirely bone-spur free after ‘Toe Jam’ religious invocation.  WASHINGTON DC – President’s Trump’s heels have been declared to be “entirely bone-spur … Read more Trump’s Bone-Spurs ‘Miraculously Disappear’ After Faith Healer’s ‘Laying-on-of- Hands’ Exorcism

The White House is Looking for a ‘Few Good Cartoonists’

The White House is Looking for a ‘Few Good Cartoonists’

Trump’s aides call for quick-draw artists able to explain complex issues in simple terms for “a hard-working President,” so they are looking for “a few good cartoonists.” WASHINGTON … Read more The White House is Looking for a ‘Few Good Cartoonists’

Trump Says Alaska Earthquake Caused by ‘Poor Snow Management, Unlike Finland’

Trump Says Alaska Earthquake Caused by ‘Poor Snow Management, Unlike Finland’

“There’s plenty of  snow in Finland,” Trump explained,  “but they don’t have anything like that Alaska earthquake because they rake it all up and deposit it in snow … Read more Trump Says Alaska Earthquake Caused by ‘Poor Snow Management, Unlike Finland’

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