Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/4/22

Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/4/22
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, especially about the passing of Betty White, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s … Read more

Cure for Deadly ‘Delta Blues’ COVID Variant Revealed

Cure for Deadly ‘Delta Blues’ COVID Variant Revealed
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland

An SNN contributor reports on a technique used by a voodoo witch doctor, said to cure the deadly “Delta Blues” variant. Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) The … Read more

Newly-Discovered Delta Blues Strain May Be Deadliest Covid-19 Variant

Newly-Discovered Delta Blues Strain May Be Deadliest Covid-19 Variant
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland

The CDC now says the newest variant, the Delta Blues Strain, may hit hardest, affecting certain music listeners. Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) The newly discovered “Delta … Read more

Exposing Yourself… Without a Raincoat! Going Commando is a Breath of Fresh Air

Exposing Yourself… Without a Raincoat! Going Commando is a Breath of Fresh Air
Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker.Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights.A Contributor to "Humor Times Magazine" while pitching her 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her newly published book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Linescan be purchased now in Paperback & ebook on amazon.com/dp/1733487409 And, proud to announce her latest published Memoir..."OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis available right now on amazon.com/dp/1733487417See...you don't have to be embarrassed to ask for the Title at a Book Store - just CLICK!

Exposing yourself by taking your mask off for the very first time is traumatic! I always loved comic Johnny Carson‘s great joke:  “Last night it was so cold…the … Read more

Are You Suffering from Trump Withdrawal Syndrome?

Are You Suffering from Trump Withdrawal Syndrome?
Dave's political satire and short humor have appeared in most major North American newspapers. He is also the author of several humor collections including "Dare to be Average", "Screams & Whispers" and "King Donald I" available on Amazon.
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The following is an urgent bulletin from the CDC for those suffering from Trump Withdrawal Syndrome: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Bulletin No. 2020-11-29 RE: Trump … Read more

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: An Unconventional Convention

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: An Unconventional Convention
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!

The Republican’s convention lies in their contention. When it comes to giving speeches, Trump has always toad the line. The President’s big “hit” song: Damagin’ (All the People). … Read more

Trump: Western Science is Like Slovenian Women

Trump: Western Science is Like Slovenian Women
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.

“You never know what you’re gonna get and when you do they suddenly change their minds.” The President added: “So-called Western science tells ya one thing and then … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/20/20

Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/20/20
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

New Advice Column: ‘Dear Dr. Trump’

New Advice Column: ‘Dear Dr. Trump’
Dave's political satire and short humor have appeared in most major North American newspapers. He is also the author of several humor collections including "Dare to be Average", "Screams & Whispers" and "King Donald I" available on Amazon.
Latest posts by David Martin (see all)

Excerpts from the popular new advice column, “Dear Dr. Trump”! When it comes to the pandemic, I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that … Read more

CDC Warns Against New Virus

CDC Warns Against New Virus
Dave's political satire and short humor have appeared in most major North American newspapers. He is also the author of several humor collections including "Dare to be Average", "Screams & Whispers" and "King Donald I" available on Amazon.
Latest posts by David Martin (see all)

Here is the latest warning from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): The CDC is closely monitoring an outbreak of political illness caused by a novel … Read more

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