[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump’s Bone-Spurs ‘Miraculously Disappear’ After Faith Healer’s ‘Laying-on-of- Hands’ Exorcism

Stunned podiatrists declare president’s feet to be entirely bone-spur free after ‘Toe Jam’ religious invocation.

 WASHINGTON DC – President’s Trump’s heels have been declared to be “entirely bone-spur free” by a panel of podiatrists, following a “hands-on-feet” pray-in conducted by evangelical faith healers.

bone-spur exorcism

The President agreed to the examination after critics claimed his bone spurs did not in fact exist, and were only an excuse to secure his military deferment during the Vietnam War. The President hotly denies this, but insisted that the exam take place only after a group of Christian faith healers had prayed and caressed his tootsies, as he calls them, in a ram’s-horn exorcism ritual known as the “Toe Jam.”

Immediately after the ceremony the podiatrists declared Mr Trump’s feet to be healthy and normal.

“It’s a miracle, praise the Lord!” wept Rev. Jim Bakker, pausing a moment from selling his $45 Trump Serenity Coins and I’d Rather Be a Nazi Than a Democrat T-shirts..

“Before the Toe Jam,” Bakker noted, “Mr Trump heroically endured years of bone-spur agony, preventing him from rushing in to save kids in Vietnam, barging into beauty pageant dressing rooms, and severely handicapping his golf game, Now it’s likely he’ll live for 200 years, grab young pussies at will, and easily win the U.S. Open.”

According to Dr Mary Footlick, a bone-spur specialist (or “Boner,” as they are known), the sudden disappearance of Trump’s “Haglund’s Deformity” is without medical precedence.

“These things don’t go away on their own, no sir,” Dr Footlick said “The fact that we could find no sign of any bone spurs, including residue or scarring, clearly confirms some kind of miraculous intervention.

“That, or Mr Trump has never suffered from bone spurs! But this suggests a level of moral depravity, turpitude and dishonesty one can hardly credit about a man who recently described himself as “actually, an honest guy.”

Mr Trump has also volunteered to undergo examination by a panel of podiatric Race Experts (or “Racists”) to establish whether there is a racist bone in his body.

According to Dr Footlick, it could be located in his Achilles Heel.

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Michael Egan
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dual career of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhem wherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.