Former prez kills McDonald’s employee at 5th Avenue restaurant over Big Mac, boasting he won’t lose voters among his base.
Donald Trump strangled a McDonald’s employee to death today, after finding an extra pickle in his Big Mac.
Trump then violently stormed the establishment, demanding to speak to “that fucking little shit working the window!”
He then demanded that “this thug” be fired immediately, with his signature Apprentice point and ugly over-bite. The manager said that he could not do that, but assured Mr. Trump that the insulting young man would be chided severely.
Not satisfied with this, Trump leapt over the counter, found the boy, grabbed him by the throat, and proceeded to squeeze the life out of him while everyone there just watched, suddenly overtaken with mental and physical paralysis.
Witnesses to the murder include; fifteen employees, twenty customers, the Pope; who was grabbing lunch on his way to St. Patrick’s Cathedral; three FBI agents, two CIA agents, four NYPD police officers, and the Second-Coming of Christ.
It is unclear whether Trump will be charged with the crime.