Trump Murders Server Over Extra Pickle in Big Mac

Trump Murders Server Over Extra Pickle in Big Mac
Hala Dika is an impoverished poet living in her parent's basement. Slowly losing all concept of money, she lives in a delusion of happiness. She hopes one day to be recognized posthumously.

Former prez kills McDonald’s employee at 5th Avenue restaurant over Big Mac, boasting he won’t lose voters among his base. Donald Trump strangled a McDonald’s employee to death … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 12/8/20

Ripping the Headlines Today, 12/8/20
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Exclusive: Trump Avoids Blessings During Vatican Visit

Exclusive: Trump Avoids Blessings During Vatican Visit
Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire.Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.
Latest posts by Diane de Anda (see all)

Trump demanded unusual security while at the Vatican to avoid contact with holy water and crucifixes. In an ironic twist, it appears Donald Trump, the champion of the … Read more

Pope Francis Absolves ‘Humor Times’ and its Readers from Sin of ‘Coprophilia’

Pope Francis Absolves ‘Humor Times’ and its Readers from Sin of ‘Coprophilia’
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.

‘Humor Times is the only poop-free news outlet in North America,’ the Pontiff said, making the sign of the cross. ‘And its readers don’t eat up no horse … Read more

Here Comes the Pope!

Roz Warren Roz is the author of Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library and Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor. She writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor, The Philadelphia Inquirer and of course, the Humor Times. Connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter or visit her website.

The Pope is coming, and Philadelphia is getting ready. Pope Francis will be in town from September 26-27, which the locals have begun referring to as “Pope Weekend.” … Read more

How to Avoid the Madding Crowds During the Pope’s Trip to the U.S.

How to Avoid the Madding Crowds During the Pope’s Trip to the U.S.
Candy Schulman is a nationally recognized writer, professor and college essay coach. She has published hundreds of personal essays, humor pieces, and articles in leading print and online publications.

The Pope is coming: How to be prepared Pay a visit to your local Planned Parenthood for a new prescription for birth control pills. While you’re there, have … Read more

Tony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI

Tony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.

Announces international “Bring Back Pope Benny” campaign, backed by the Kochs LONDON — Former British Prime Minister and converted Catholic Tony Blair called upon the Vatican today to … Read more

Wheeling and Dealing: The Vatican’s Dirty Secret

Wheeling and Dealing: The Vatican’s Dirty Secret
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.

Using Vatican diplomatic plates as cover This past Tuesday, while performing a routine search of a Vatican car, police made a rather unexpected discovery, one that included a … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 6/3/14

Ripping the Headlines Today, 6/3/14
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/26/14

Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/26/14
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

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