CAC banner ad
Dave Lippman ad
Humor Times App
Humor Times Free Trial

Roger Freed

avatar

Roger Freed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor. For something in a more serious mode get "The Book Of Songs" by Roger Freed from Lulu.com. A collection of short stories illustrating the subtle and powerful influence music can have on our minds and our spirits.

Mar 242017
 
 By , March 24, 2017

Look into our crystal ball and create your very own News Headlines of the Future!

If you look at enough different newspapers enough different times you find the news headlines can be quite similar. The rags always seem to be re-circulating the same type of newsworthy cadavers again and again. The names and the places change, but the content is cloned.

News Headlines of the Future, ObamaIt gets to the point where you can pretty much predict what the ‘new’ news will be about before it even becomes happens. In fact, one might as well make up his own news — it won’t be that different from the real event! It never stopped our new Glorious Leader!

Here are some templates for making your own ‘hot off the press’ news!

Just fill in the blanks like you would a crossword puzzle and change every few days to keep up with the times:

Donald Trump Tweeted His Disdain Over _________ And What He/She/They Did To _________ Him.

Photos Of Obama Having a Great Time ________ing On Vacation In __________ With ________.

Sexy Actress _______ Flashes Her ________ In A Revealing _________. Photos On Page ________.

Ex President _______ Says “Trump Is An Incredible ________”. Trump Says That _______ Is An Even Bigger ___________.

10 Year Old Transgender ________ Wants To Be Allowed To ________ Where ___ Wants to.

DJ Trump States That ______ Is A Second Rate _______ And No One Should Pay Attention To _____.

_________Says The Same For Trump.

An Extreme Right Wing _____ In _________ Mississippi Chanted That All ________ Should Be Shipped Back To ________.

Thousands Rally To Protest _________ Cuts To Their __________. State Sends In _______ To _____Order.

A White Policeman Was Accused Of _______ A ___________ While ________.

White Policeman Acquitted For _______ A ________.

New Wonder ________ Promises To ________ In Only 10 Days.

At A Republican Meeting In ___________ ____________Demanded That All _________ Should Be Incarcerated Or Thrown Out Of Country For ___________.

Republicans Ejected ________ From a Meeting Over _________ For Expressing ________. ____ Demands An __________ And An Apology.

Students In _____ Riot Over ________. Windows Smashed And _______ Overturned.

Teacher Found To Be Having Improper _______ With A __________. _____ year old says it was “________ love”.

Giant Corporation __________ Takes Over Smaller Company _______ In Hostile Bid. Moves Operations To ________ And Lays Off _________ Employees.

Athlete _________ Violently __________ Girlfriend With A ________. Not Arrested, But Gets A _________.

Russian Dissident __________ In _______ Falls Into Mysterious Coma. Suspicious ______ Found In His _______.

President Select Trump Tweets _______ About _______ Doing _______. ( repeat this daily using different names and incidents.)

The President for Life Of ________ Declares America To Be A Degenerate ________ That Should Be _________ Into The Ground For ________.

Islamic Terrorists In ________ Killed ______ People In A Predawn _______ Using A ______ As A ________.

Donald Trump’s Cabinet Secretary ________ Caught Sharing Secret Information With _______. _____ Demands An __________.

North Korea Dictator Kim Jong Un Threatens To ________ ________ Over Allegations Of ________ from __________.

Feb 192017
 
 By , February 19, 2017
Hair, the Rock Musical That Shook the World

50 years ago, the rock opera ‘Hair’ first appeared on the scene in New York It was about 50 years ago that the rock opera ‘Hair’ first appeared on the scene in New York, just preceding the famous ‘Summer of Love’ of 1968. Having humble [more…]

Feb 142017
 
 By , February 14, 2017
Mosquites: The Mini-Me's of Vampires

Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses. They are adept enough to fly up, whine in your ear, then take off laughing as you whip yourself in the head trying to swat them. They know how to hold a victim in suspense [more…]

Feb 062017
 
 By , February 6, 2017
Never Kiss a Saber Toothed Squirrel

The tale of Tham the Saber Toothed Squirrel It isn’t often one sees a saber toothed squirrel. Of course, it isn’t often one wants to see a saber toothed squirrel, but when one does see one it invariably leads to commentary. For instance: “Why the [more…]

Jan 312017
 
 By , January 31, 2017
Do Canadians Really Exist?

Are Canadians simply a product of someone’s over-inventive fantasy? Do Canadians really exist? Yes, that is my question. Is there really such a whimsical folk who believe in such things as mounted police wearing red uniforms and modified cowboy hats, water wells with hand pumps, [more…]

Jan 202017
 
 By , January 20, 2017
A Country Gets the Leaders It Deserves

An unfunny editorial: A country gets the leaders it deserves There is an old saying that “a country gets the leaders it deserves.” So what does that say about the United States and the choices it has made of late? It says that we are [more…]

Jan 162017
 
 By , January 16, 2017
Trump's List of Things to Do on His First Day in Office

He’s a business man, so you know Donald Trump has a list ready of things to do. Here they are. Have Hillary and Bill ‘mysteriously’ disappear. Finalize deal with Putin on co-overseeing Russia’s oil industry. Install a more ‘Trump friendly’ Director into CIA and have [more…]

Jan 132017
 
 By , January 13, 2017
The Machiavellian Guide to Becoming President

This Machiavellian Guide is channeled from the nether worlds to his humble servants Donald Trump and Roger Freed. Note to the historically impaired: Niccolo Machiavelli was a 15th century historian, writer and politician who emphasized using the Dark Side of the Force when ruling. Rumor [more…]