SFMT ad
Humor Times App
Humor Times subscribe

Roger Freed

avatar

Roger Freed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor. For something in a more serious mode get "The Book Of Songs" by Roger Freed from Lulu.com. A collection of short stories illustrating the subtle and powerful influence music can have on our minds and our spirits.

Jul 262017
 
 By , July 26, 2017

Mensa found in Trump a troubling enigma, causing them to review their statuses

 

Mensa Makes Special Genius Category For Trump.

Mensa, the international high intelligence group that only accepts people who pass a difficult IQ test, have in the age of Trump found a troubling enigma that causes them to review their statuses.

The present President-select has provided them with such a problem in categorizing him that they had to labor to overcome it. What rating do you give a man with such astounding mental process as our current Commandant-In-Chief?

After much debate and research, the Mensa organizers have come up with a new subdivision of intellectual proficiency specially categorizing the type possessed by our current Fuhrer. In so doing they based their new directive upon the following facts concerning him based on these things he has said and tweeted:

Mr. Trump is apparently smarter than the entire U.S. Intelligence communities as he constantly contradicts them and states that their information is wrong.

Mr. Trump claims to be the smartest guy he knows and because he is President that has to be true.

Mr. Trump is smarter than all the movie critics and fans when he says that Meryl Streep is an over-rated actress.

Mr. Trump apparently knows more than all the scientists whose work he criticizes as wrong.

Mr. Trump is more intelligent than all the cartoon buffs when he says that Gary Trudeau who draws the Doonesbury cartoon is a “loser”.

Donald Trump is smarter than all the Saturday Night Show fans when he said that Adam Baldwin who portrays him is “boring and unfunny”.

He tweeted that Jon Stewart of the Daily Show fame was “a joke” showing that he smarter than the entire crew on the program.

Donald Trump has himself said that his IQ is the highest of anyone he knows.

He claimed the Conservative columnist Charles Krauthammer and Senator John McCain to be “clowns”.

Donald Trump has made it clear that the New York Times “does not write good”.

Mr. Trump claims to know more about ISIS than his Generals do.

Because of these actions and statements on the part of the President-select’s obvious genius Mensa has created a special ‘D.A.’ Category for him in the field of higher intelligence. When asked what DA stood for the Mensa officials would say was that it signified Distinguished Achievements while others interviewed said Distinct Advantages and yet others Dynamic Ascension, all while smiling smirkedly and snickering into their hands.,

When interviewed about the award he had just received at a special ceremony Herr Trump mentioned to the press that it was a great honor to be so chosen but did not understand why DA stood for Distinct Advantage. After the presentation he promptly shook the officials hands and left proudly gazing fondly upon the parchment they gave him. From backstage a strange chortling and poorly suppressed snorts of laughter could be heard as he walked off.

 

Jul 102017
 
 By , July 10, 2017
We Are a Fly on the Wall at a GOP Health Care Meeting

Listening in on a Republican meeting of the minds on health care: “What are we going to do about health care?” whispered Mitch McConnell secretly to Mike Pence. “If we don’t get this new AbominableCare bill through, our handlers will come down on us heavy!” [more…]

May 312017
 
 By , May 31, 2017
A Fly on the Wall at an Early Trump Cabinet Meeting

What were the first Trump cabinet meetings like? Wonder no more… “OK, are we all here?” demanded the President Select, as he rushed in fashionably late to his own White House staff meeting. “Yes, Mr. President, all are present,” answered Kellyanne Conway for everyone in [more…]

Apr 232017
 
 By , April 23, 2017
Presenting the Poetry of Sarah Palin

Some until-now overlooked poems by Sarah Palin. You’re welcome! I SHOT AN ARROW I shot an arrow into the air it came down and pegged a hare. My rifle I shot so straight and true and brought me down a caribou. Moose when they see [more…]

Apr 112017
 
 By , April 11, 2017
National Debt Forces U.S. to Give Away States

In an effort to pay off the enormous national debt, the federal government has begun giving away states to various debtors overseas. The national debt has reached $13 trillion. In an effort to pay off this enormous amount, the federal government has started giving away [more…]

Mar 242017
 
 By , March 24, 2017
Do It Yourself Future News Headlines

Look into our crystal ball and create your very own News Headlines of the Future! If you look at enough different newspapers enough different times you find the news headlines can be quite similar. The rags always seem to be re-circulating the same type of [more…]

Feb 192017
 
 By , February 19, 2017
Hair, the Rock Musical That Shook the World

50 years ago, the rock opera ‘Hair’ first appeared on the scene in New York It was about 50 years ago that the rock opera ‘Hair’ first appeared on the scene in New York, just preceding the famous ‘Summer of Love’ of 1968. Having humble [more…]

Skip to toolbar