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Roger Freed

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Roger Freed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor. For something in a more serious mode get "The Book Of Songs" by Roger Freed from Lulu.com. A collection of short stories illustrating the subtle and powerful influence music can have on our minds and our spirits.

Apr 232017
 
 By , April 23, 2017

Some until-now overlooked poems by Sarah Palin. You’re welcome!

Sarah Palin

I SHOT AN ARROW

I shot an arrow
into the air
it came down
and pegged a hare.
My rifle I shot so straight and true
and brought me down a caribou.
Moose when they see my trail they quake
Ptarmigan their feathers shake.
Full grown bears will turn and run
when they see my Remington.

The creatures know
I’m somewhat prone
to leave them dead,
their brains out-blown.

To run, now some will not even bother,
they stand stock still, scared to the bone,
its because I’m the biggest Mother,
that their woods have ever known.

 

Sarah PalinMIRROR, MIRROR

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who’s the grandest of us all?
I’ve seduced McCain, become his Queen
and before the world am now seen.
My realm has grown from Alaska land
to encompass Maine to Rio Grande.
I’m so hot Ted Nugent wants to do me
and yet the Democrats eschew me.
I’m so hot the firemen douse me
when old men try to accost me.

I know now its all a game,
a strive for glory, power and fame.
Shake all hands and smile a lot,
make sure chickens are in every pot.
But I will play a little dumb
and wait for my chance to come
and go hell bent for broke
should ever the old geezer croak.

 

SOFUSTICATED

On me you must have pity,
I am not from the big city.
Sophistication is an art
I have not yet gart.
I’ve never had Chablis,
modern art still eludes me.
But don’t you get rude,
or even a little bit crude
or I will show you some talent
from my side of the planet,
you’ll be field-dressed and gutted
and as a last touch- denutted.


Said a young lass from Alaska
“If I want yer opinion I’ll ask ya!”
A maverick she was
with justifiable cause
her very own party
had treated her farty
so she said, “If ‘ya screw me then I’ll blast ‘ya!”

Apr 112017
 
 By , April 11, 2017
National Debt Forces U.S. to Give Away States

In an effort to pay off the enormous national debt, the federal government has begun giving away states to various debtors overseas. The national debt has reached $13 trillion. In an effort to pay off this enormous amount, the federal government has started giving away [more…]

Mar 242017
 
 By , March 24, 2017
Do It Yourself Future News Headlines

Look into our crystal ball and create your very own News Headlines of the Future! If you look at enough different newspapers enough different times you find the news headlines can be quite similar. The rags always seem to be re-circulating the same type of [more…]

Feb 192017
 
 By , February 19, 2017
Hair, the Rock Musical That Shook the World

50 years ago, the rock opera ‘Hair’ first appeared on the scene in New York It was about 50 years ago that the rock opera ‘Hair’ first appeared on the scene in New York, just preceding the famous ‘Summer of Love’ of 1968. Having humble [more…]

Feb 142017
 
 By , February 14, 2017
Mosquites: The Mini-Me's of Vampires

Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses. They are adept enough to fly up, whine in your ear, then take off laughing as you whip yourself in the head trying to swat them. They know how to hold a victim in suspense [more…]

Feb 062017
 
 By , February 6, 2017
Never Kiss a Saber Toothed Squirrel

The tale of Tham the Saber Toothed Squirrel It isn’t often one sees a saber toothed squirrel. Of course, it isn’t often one wants to see a saber toothed squirrel, but when one does see one it invariably leads to commentary. For instance: “Why the [more…]

Jan 312017
 
 By , January 31, 2017
Do Canadians Really Exist?

Are Canadians simply a product of someone’s over-inventive fantasy? Do Canadians really exist? Yes, that is my question. Is there really such a whimsical folk who believe in such things as mounted police wearing red uniforms and modified cowboy hats, water wells with hand pumps, [more…]

Jan 202017
 
 By , January 20, 2017
A Country Gets the Leaders It Deserves

An unfunny editorial: A country gets the leaders it deserves There is an old saying that “a country gets the leaders it deserves.” So what does that say about the United States and the choices it has made of late? It says that we are [more…]