Trump Town Hall: Liz Cheney Hosts - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

A little Trump Town Hall Monday Morning Quarterbacking for clarity & spunk with Liz Cheney!

Tip of the hat to Moderator Kaitlan Collins who did a courageous job, but Laurence O’Donnell, host of ‘The Last Word‘ on MSNBC opined ‘What if Liz Cheney moderated Trump Town Hall instead?!’

But this time, the audience is in a sound proof hermetically sealed auditorium! haha

I think it would go something like this:

LIZ CHENEY

Welcome Donald Trump, you ####, ####, #### Rapist Loser!

DONALD TRUMP

What a warm welcome – I never liked your father.

LIZ

What does Melania think about you losing the E. Jean Carroll case?

TRUMP

Who knows – she’s on an island in the Pacific & fans herself with money!

C’mon, the jury says I’m not a Rapist, I’m just a pervert with a broken zipper!

LIZ

You masterminded the whole January 6th Insurrection, didn’t you?

TRUMP

‘I wasn’t involved in it very much’ – I even had a dental appointment that morning.

LIZ

Mike Pence was in danger.

TRUMP

No, he was not.

LIZ

Yes, he was.

TRUMP

No, he was not.

LIZ

He sh_ _ his pants!

TRUMP

So, what’s new?

I cherish the Constitution – did you see what I did to the Flag?

LIZ

We sure did – you rubbed 1 Star completely off!

LIZ

Every 4 years you put yourself on the Presidential Ticket only to keep from going to prison – what don’t you like about showering with other men?

TRUMP

Liz – you got me! I give up! I never wanted to be President up & my lawyers are all fired!

LIZ

Hallelujah – but why me?

TRUMP

I waited to get caught by a tough bowlegged Wyoming cowgirl & wish to be lassoed & whipped!

LIZ

I knew you peed in that Russian Bed!

You mean ‘The Trump Era’ is over & the Republican Party can reboot & cleanse themselves in a gigantic steamy hot tub?

TRUMP

I don’t frigin’ care what they do – I’m really a Democrat!

LIZ

You lied about which party you are – what about all those red hats?

TRUMP

Those hats (plus shipping) are getting me on that island in the Pacific – does this place have a back door?

LIZ

Your announcement caught me off guard – we have 50 minutes left of this Town Hall – got any ideas?

TRUMP

I do ‘Impressions’!

LIZ

Let’s see what you got!

TRUMP (as Vladimir Putin)

‘You came through, Doughboy – Top, Top Secret Docs! A little Ketchup on it – no worries, we have special dog licks these things’!

TRUMP (as Kim Jong Un)

‘Thanks bro – these Top Secret Docs gave me locations of all ‘Home Depot’s’ near me! Who knew all our missiles needed was ‘Phillip’s Screwdriver’!

LIZ

Now, can you do House Speaker Kevin McCarthy hitting his head with his Gavel?

TRUMP

No, but would you!

Author
Recent Posts

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha