Party Line: Old School Evesdropping!

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party line, Lily Tomlin

Gone are the days of ‘High Entertainment’ listening-in to private lives via the party line. Here’s a dusty old transcript to slow us all down one Ringy Dingy at a time!

party line

Kids, back in the day our phone was not in our hands or our pockets all day – it had a table & some days we never even got a call! And, we had ‘Busy Signals’, ‘LIVE Operators’ & 1 Phone for a whole family! 

‘A Party Line’ was a Telephone Line where every home on that line would have a different Ring Tone.  When you’d recognize yours – only then would you pick up ‘the Receiver’ to answer.

From what my Grandmother told me – the two big annoyances were ‘Line Hogs’ who were chatterboxes & ‘Busy Bodies’ who’d pick up their Receiver & listen-in to your conversations without you knowing it.

But the saving grace was that you didn’t know the identity of the other Party Liners.

The biggest frustrations were being thwarted by strangers who got to the phone first & you had to wait until they were friggin’ finished!  I heard.

Yeah, folks got really creative when they pleaded that their call was life or death & you had to get off the phone & it worked!

Here’s a dusty old Party Line Transcript from the 1950’s that could titillate, amuse or put you to sleep!  Let me know which, after your nap!

MAUDE

Hello.

OPAL

Hello, Maude?

MAUDE

Who do you think it is – my no-good husband?

OPAL

Do you still have the recipe for that Pound Cake from the Church Social?

MAUDE

You really like it?  Way too salty last time.

OPAL

Well, just read it to me & I’ll leave out some salt.

MAUDE

Let me go get it.

OPAL

Carl, bring in the Cat – it’s freezing tonight!  And, close that door – you want me to get pneumonia?

MAUDE

Can’t find it – I think I gave it to Grace last week.

OPAL

Do you have her number?

MAUDE

Bob, do you know where I put my Address Book?

OPAL

Carl, now he’s got my slipper!  Catch him, catch him!

OPAL  (click, click from her Party Line)

No, this is an Emergency!

MAUDE

Bob got my book.  Now let me see.  Grace, Grace.  What’s her last name Bob?

OPAL

Didn’t she have a funny hat on last week?  Who does she think she is Myrna Loy?

MAUDE (haha)

Bob, the TV antenna is now broken – are you happy?

OPAL

Hon, call me tomorrow.  Maybe you can think of her last name.

MAUDE

Doesn’t Grace live next door to you?

OPAL

Yes, she does.  I just don’t want to go in – she always talks about nothing!

Marilyn Sands
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