Recycling reaches its apogee as the Astrodome enters a new phase in its illustrious history.
More than 60 years after it debuted as “the eighth wonder of world” and as a multi-purpose sports and entertainment venue, the Houston Astrodome has been designated by President Donald Trump as the newest in a line of immigrant containment facilities.
The 9.5-acre structure, renowned for its domed roof and electrified scoreboard, opened on April 9, 1965 in Houston, Texas. It has been home to many types of sporting events, including Houston Astros baseball games, Muhammad Ali boxing matches, and professional and collegiate basketball and football games. Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, and Elvis have been featured under the storied roof.
But the Astros abandoned the dome in 1999 for Enron Field and the space has largely stood idle since 2005. Now the 47th president is keen to re-purpose the venue for warehousing illegals who were apprehended on American soil.
Although in 2019 the Astrodome was judged by local authorities to be in violation of occupation regulations and was shuttered, Trump said, “I don’t care about no effin’ fire codes,” and ordered the venue to be occupied by as many as 90,000 illegals.
The site can also accommodate additional beds in a 352-acre parking lot designed to hold some 26,000 vehicles.
“We can fit a lotta bodies in there,” Trump told an Oval Office press event on Wednesday.
“[Border Czar] Tom Homan regularly finds six illegals living out of a single vehicle, so multiply 26,000 by six and you get…”
“One hundred fifty-six thousand,” Homan responded.
“Homan tells me there is a parking overflow of 102 acres, so we can get even more in there,” Trump said.
Trump said the detainees will be as well cared for at the Astrodome as the Palestinians are in Gaza.
A quarter million prisoners would consume some 2 billion calories per day, at a cost of $2-3 per prisoner, Trump said, adding that he is in talks with Chick-fil-A and Taco Bell.
“Tacos are the favorite food of illegals, and the taco means a lot to me, too,” Trump said. “In fact the illegals will probably be coming out of the woodwork just to be fed these tasty treats, and we’ll give ’em Trump Vodka too.”
The Trump administration has ordered the construction of 40 so-called Vermin Containment Facilities (VCFs) in the American Southwest, but the project has been beleaguered by labor shortages, cost-overruns, and other problems.
“The f**kers want to earn the prevailing wage,” Trump said, “and the federal minimum wage in Texas is only $7.25 per hour, which makes you ask who do these people think they are.”
“The minimum wage in next-door Arizona is twice that, which is why we’re building in the Lone Star State,” Trump said. “Maybe we’ll build in Wyoming or Iowa, if they don’t get their minds right.”
A Houston reporter told Trump that the electrical system of the Astrodome was out of commission and that there was no lighting or air conditioning.
“That’s fine,” Trump said. “This ain’t Club Med, and with the lights out, maybe we can grow some mushrooms and use them on our new Trump pizzas.”
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