Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
Breaking News: With the Aliens Enemies Act of 1798 placed on hold, President Trump has enacted the ancient Slobovian “YAIG Law.”
President Trump has announced that since the courts have placed his use of the Aliens Enemies Act of 1798 on hold, he will enact the Ancient Slobovian YAIG LAW OF 1257.
Trump explained that, “Most people don’t know, and it’s not in the history books, but America was discovered by the Slobovians, ages before Columbus.”
Trump stated that, “In 2317 BC, the great Slobovian explorer Slobbo the Red landed in America around the vicinity of what is now Pigsfeet, Tennessee. Therefore, I have the right to use elements of Slobovian law in our battle against illegals and criminals.”
According to administration sources, the YAIG law was created by Slobbo-Egyptian Pharoah Pompey the Pissy in 1257 to rid the empire of criminals. The law has little need of pesky “due process,” they claim. YAIG stands for “Your Ass Is Grass,” and has been called the “One and Done Law.”
Mr. Trump stated that the Government of El Salvador is busy building new prisons in anticipation of the enactment of YAIG.
Breaking Sports News
Major League Baseball to Outlaw Oblique Muscles.
SNN Words to Live By
“Is it really so wrong to kill a critic?” — Ramona Carver (Virginia Field), Perry Mason, 1950’s TV series.
“We like our women without penises.” — Greg Gutfeld, Fox News Channel.
“Sometimes the truth is like a dead skunk in the middle of the street.” — Tony Baretta (Robert Blake), Baretta, 1970’s TV series.
The Question
Who’s the most obnoxious person in America? (Post your answer in the comments below!)
Author’s Pick: Judge Judy
Answer to Last Week’s Question, “Match TV cowboys and their horses”
1. Roy Rogers — Trigger
2. Hopalong Cassidy — Topper
3. Gene Autry — Champion
4. Zorro — Tornado
5. Annie Oakley –Target
6. Dale Evans — Buttermilk
7. Cisco Kid — Diablo
8. Tonto — Scout
9. Jim Hardee — Jubilee
10. Buffalo Bill Jr — Chief
11. Range Rider — Rawhide
12. Brave Eagle — White Cloud
