[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

For 18th Time Today, Hillary Clinton Asks Aide if Bernie Has Conceded Yet

“It’s my turn. Everyone knows it’s my turn, except him.” – Clinton

WASHINGTON — A campaign aide confirmed reports Hillary Clinton had asked her for the eighteenth time today if Bernie Sanders had called to concede the Democratic presidential nomination.

Hillary Clinton pissed
“When the hell’s he gonna call?!” — Hillary to aide.

Mandy Hazard, a longtime Hillary confidant, declared the party’s presumptive nominee had repetitively and pointedly asked her, “Has Bernie Sanders called and conceded the nomination to me yet?”

Hazard also explained Clinton became extremely agitated each time she learned Bernie Sanders had not called to quit the race, and charged, “I can’t believe he hasn’t quit yet. I just can’t believe it.”

When Hazard told the candidate it was not a good idea to call Bernie Sanders and demand he concede, Hillary’s eyes glazed over and she replied, “It’s my turn. Everyone knows it’s my turn, except him.”

Hazard expected Clinton to ask her the same question regarding Sanders at least ten more times today.

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Alexander Vosh
Alexander Vosh has lived in Rhode Island for all of his life, but is often asked where he grew up by other Rhode Islanders due to his lack of the state's R-optional accent - which will make an appearance on occasion, usually when Vosh is annoyed. Vosh is also highly allergic to right-wing politics, and thinks whisky is swell. He writes regularly for The Nil Admirari, where this story first appeared.