Ripping the Headlines Today, 9/20/17

Ripping the Headlines Today, 9/20/17

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with … Read more

James Comey, Out of Job, Pursues Life Passion: Resolving Email Issues

James Comey, Out of Job, Pursues Life Passion: Resolving Email Issues

WASHINGTON, DC — Former FBI Director James Comey, after rejecting job offers from Russia, China, Iran and even North Korea, decided to pursue his life’s passion of resolving private email issues, signing on with Comcast. … Read more

Curses, My Media Brethren – Smart Donald Has Uncovered Our Plot Against Him!

Curses, My Media Brethren – Smart Donald Has Uncovered Our Plot Against Him!

Media plotters against The Donald are left in disarray after his incredible intelligence exposes their devious plans. Comrades: devastating news. The Donald has discovered our plot. Through incredible intelligence and insight he has uncovered our … Read more

Who Will Win the Hillary Clinton Veepstakes?

Will Durst

Hillary Clinton must decide on a VP pick soon. Check out our handy guide! A Vice Presidential pick is a defining moment in a campaign, motivating nominees to utilize unique strategies. Some try to accentuate … Read more

Elizabeth Warren Seeks Professional Help for OCD After Endorsing Clinton

Elizabeth Warren Seeks Professional Help for OCD After Endorsing Clinton

Sources: Elizabeth Warren has not been able to stop showering since endorsing Hillary Clinton. BOSTON — Sources close to Elizabeth Warren say the Massachusetts Senator has checked herself into the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Institute at … Read more

Desperate GOP Makes Offer to Dems: ‘Cancel Election, Keep Obama’

Desperate GOP Makes Offer to Dems: ‘Cancel Election, Keep Obama’

‘We’d rather deal with the devil we know for another four years than risk a Trump or Clinton presidential calamity with this election.’ – Sen. Mitch McConnell. In a stunning turn of events, the Republican … Read more

For 18th Time Today, Hillary Clinton Asks Aide if Bernie Has Conceded Yet

For 18th Time Today, Hillary Clinton Asks Aide if Bernie Has Conceded Yet

“It’s my turn. Everyone knows it’s my turn, except him.” – Clinton WASHINGTON — A campaign aide confirmed reports Hillary Clinton had asked her for the eighteenth time today if Bernie Sanders had called to … Read more