[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Hillary Clinton Threatens Donald Trump with ‘First Amendment Retaliation’

‘Let’s First Amendment the little creep before he Second Amendments us!’ she says, urging her supporters to ‘go after the SOB with everything we’ve got!’

NYC – Hillary Clinton responded to Donald Trump’s barely veiled “second amendment” assassination threat today by invoking “the full power of the First Amendment and its right to free speech.”

Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, second amendment, First Amendment The Democratic Party’s nominee explained at a press conference: “The entire world understood Mr Trump’s threat to democracy when he said that there were Second Amendment solutions to my presidency and any SCOTUS judges I might appoint.”

She continued: “Fortunately the First Amendment is mightier than the Second. The pen is mightier than the sword! We need to First Amendment that murderous little creep before he and his KKK thugs get around to Second Amendmenting us! Because you know they’re just itching.”

Clinton held up a newspaper. “I therefore call on all my followers and friends to immediately and ruthlessly exercise their First Amendment rights of free speech and association to verbally murder, strangle, bomb, shoot, bump off, execute, assassinate and generally blow away the stubby-fingered little SOB, and leave his political corpse rotting at the bottom of History’s smelliest dumpster!”

Hillary added: “Because if the men with guns take over this country there will be no more First or any other constitutional amendments.

“And then as Chomsky says, goodbye to civilization, because the world will be looking at a new, stupid Hitler armed with nuclear missiles.”

Mrs Clinton wound up: “The one time it’s OK to shout ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater is when there’s a fire in a crowded theater.”


Michael Egan