How Kevin McCarthy Can Save Face: Top 10 Tips

how Kevin McCarthy can save face

After months of stagnant voting for Speaker of the House, here’s how Kevin McCarthy can save face.

How Kevin McCarthy can save face: sure-fire tips for another stubborn man who never concedes!

10.  WEAR A BAG OVER YOUR HEAD!

how Kevin McCarthy can save face

  9.  DON’T GO NEAR YOUR CLASS REUNION!

how Kevin McCarthy can save face

  8.  GET RUDY GIULIANI & ROGER STONE TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP!

7.  GET SYMPATHY LIKE SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER DID: SHAMPOO WITH “NO TEARS”!

Boehner crying

  6.  FAKE A HEART ATTACK AT NEXT ‘VOTE COUNT’ SO WE CAN WATCH MATT GAETZ GIVE MOUTH-TO-MOUTH!

McCarthy and Gaetz

  5.  CAUSE A DISTRACTION: WRESTLE JIM JORDAN WHEN HE VOTES FOR HIMSELF!

Jim Jordan

  4.  WRAP YOURSELF AROUND THE AMERICAN FLAG & SHOUT ‘THE BRITISH ARE COMING’, ‘THE BRITISH ARE COMING’!

how Kevin McCarthy can save face

  3.  MY ADVICE: TELL THE WIFE THE COUCH IS LUMPY!

  2.  *MEET NANCY PELOSI SECRETLY IN CLOAKROOM WITH VALENTINE CHOCOLATES!

love

*WARNING: Only emergency measure!

And, #1 TIP TO YOU, KEVIN McCARTHY…

MAKE A CALL TO ‘THE PROUD BOYS’!

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