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May 262015
 
 By , May 26, 2015
John McCain Goes All John McClane

Pissed about ISIS, Senator John McCain ambushes the President On Sunday, like a rabid baboon, Senator John McCain emerged from the bushes and launched a vicious attack on Barack Obama. As the 44th President of the United States was exiting a Starbucks with his order, [more…]

May 262015
 
 By , May 26, 2015
Immigration: The Beginning of the End

CAPS on immigration: It’s to blame for everything bad Californian’s for Population Stabilization (CAPS) have followed up their recent claim that California’s water shortage is due to the overabundance of immigrants to California and their high fertility rates, that are skyrocketing the state’s population. In [more…]

May 262015
 
 By , May 26, 2015
Republicans Condemn 'Hitler' Obama, Hand Him More Power

‘It’s never tyranny when the tyrant does what you want,’ Mitch McConnell said, referring to Obama. WASHINGTON, DC – Republican congressional leaders and their corporate masters gleefully rubbed their oily palms together today as President “Adolf” Obama rammed his TPP authorization bill down the throat [more…]

May 222015
 
 By , May 22, 2015
Sen. Cruz Promises Radical Protest Against Marriage Equality

Senator Ted Cruz’ promises his plan to protest the expected Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality will be a ‘huge shocker.’ Potential Republican presidential candidate and Canadian Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) continued his opposition to marriage equality today by committing to show voters the “true [more…]

May 222015
 
 By , May 22, 2015
Congress Raises Birth Age to Five

“We all like cuddly little babies, but the reality is our nation can no longer afford them.” – President Obama to Congress WASHINGTON ─ Both the House and Senate passed bi-partisan legislation today raising the birth age in the United States to five. The President [more…]

May 212015
 
 By , May 21, 2015
Woman Constantly Refreshes UPS Tracking Webpage

Obsessively tracking UPS Tracking Sherry Stacey loves online ordering. The minute an online retailer sends her a UPS tracking number, she immediately goes to the carrier’s order tracking webpage and starts refreshing the page to get up-to-the minute delivery information. “If I pay good money [more…]

May 152015
 
 By , May 15, 2015
Superman Gives Up on Earth, Plans to Return to Krypton

“Let’s face it, you guys are fucked,” Superman tells Rachel Maddow in final TV interview. METROPOLIS, OL – World-renowned crime fighter and iconic symbol of Truth, Justice and The American Way, Superman, announced today that he was giving up on earth and would soon return [more…]