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Aug 062017
 
 By , August 6, 2017
Category 3 Hurricane Really Half-Assing It

Despite being afforded every opportunity since birth, Hurricane Chet is simply not living up to expectations. Expectations were significantly lowered this week after it became clear Hurricane Chet is not giving his all and therefore not anticipated to amount to anything better than a Category [more…]

Jul 292017
 
 By , July 29, 2017
It's Love: Life-Long Romance Started with Dick Pic

Prudence Smith had never before seen a ‘dick pic,’ thought it was something else entirely. Prudence Smith was a widow when a friend suggested she try dating website Plenty Of Fish, but Smith had her doubts. “No one could ever replace my Henry,” Smith told [more…]

Jul 272017
 
 By , July 27, 2017
Heroic Pole Steps in Front of Drunk Driver

Drunk driver prevented from injuring others by lone, brave telephone pole Poles usually hold up things Americans use to download porn, like electricity or cable lines, but this wasn’t the case today in Huntington, WV, when a valiant young pole stepped in front of a [more…]

Jul 272017
 
 By , July 27, 2017
The Grim Reaper and the Trump Conundrum

The Trump dilemma, shared by the Grim Reaper An anonymous source, who would only refer to herself as the leader of a local coven, shared her tape recording of her recent conversation with the Grim Reaper regarding Donald Trump. This is an exclusive transcription of [more…]

Jul 072017
 
 By , July 7, 2017
Trump to Return Melania for Refund During Slovenia Trip

The real reason Donald Trump is making a last minute trip to Slovenia, Melania’s birthplace It has long been believed that President Donald Trump, who has described his own hair as resembling ‘a wet raccoon,’ had purchased his disproportionately more attractive Eastern European wives for [more…]

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