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Oct 252014
 By , October 25, 2014
ISIS Crisis: Terrorists with Great P.R.

Hip-Hop production company helps ISIS get down Not just content with being CNN’s favorite topic of discussion, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) now possess the best public relations personnel imaginable. After recently releasing a new episode in a video series called Sweetie-tweets, [more...]

Oct 242014
 By , October 24, 2014
Hip Hop and the Dreaded 'Flop'

The malady that must not be mentioned in Hip Hop no longer taboo Long before Lil Wayne and Chris Brown were simultaneously picking up the mic and grabbing their crotches, Eminem was rapping about his “middle man,” describing how “it hit the ground and caused [more...]

Oct 242014
 By , October 24, 2014
Donald Trump Hospitalized with Ebola, Verbal Diarrhea

Donald Trump suffering from ‘Ebola Animi,’ resulting in verbal diarrhea NYC — Donald Trump was rushed to Bellevue hospital last night after repeatedly screaming “Zmpph! Obama! Aaargh!” and then exploding into a little green pool of his own excrement, bile and vomit. The millionaire playboy [more...]

Oct 212014
 By , October 21, 2014
Tea Party Activists: Washington Has Its Own 'Butt Plug' Issues

Activist regarding D.C.’s huge butt plug: “Put condoms on the Washington Monument now!” WASHINGTON, DC — Right-wing protests in Paris against artist Paul McCarthy’s “butt plug” sculpture have inspired American Tea Party activists to take a similar stand on the Washington Monument and other “obscene” [more...]

Oct 132014
 By , October 13, 2014
Human Robocall Machine Breaks Down

Woman suffers PST after making thousands of anti-Mitch McConnell robocalls A California woman is resting comfortably in LA General Hospital after suffering an ailment that until now had only manifested in soldiers fighting in overseas battles. “She appears to have all the symptoms of battle [more...]

Oct 072014
 By , October 7, 2014
Riots and Mayhem After Scientists Announce Lab-Grown Penis

‘Designer Dicks’ to be tested on penis-envying volunteers WINSTON-SALEM NC — Civil unrest broke out today at the gates of the Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine, Winston-Salem, NC, following reports that its scientists are ready to try “in-man” trials for their new laboratory-grown penis [more...]

Oct 042014
 By , October 4, 2014
Career Fair Day with ISIS

Surprise recruitment effort at recent Career Fair featured offers of free caps, t-shirts and Facebook pokes The annual Cornell University Career Fair Day provides an opportunity for students to meet with representatives from over 250 organizations over a two-day period, and is always well attended. [more...]

Oct 032014
 By , October 3, 2014
Donald Chump

Donald Trump, billionaire douchebag, fooled again Donald Trump, the billionaire douchebag, has said he “may sue and severely assault” a Twitter user who fooled him into retweeting a nude image of Rosie O’Donnell. Now labelled Donald Chump, the man with the most heinous hairstyle imaginable [more...]