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Aug 272015
 
 By , August 27, 2015
Fox News and Donald Trump Reach 'Non-Nuclear' Deal

But Fox News’ Megyn Kelly supporters cry foul NEW YORK – Donald Trump announced today that he had “forced Fox News to its cowardly knees,” after signing a “non-nuclear” TV pact with the company’s president, Roger Ailes. Under the deal, Fox will continue to broadcast [more…]

Aug 272015
 
 By , August 27, 2015
The Donald, Warts and All

Only in America: The Donald “Like any hardworking American male, when I come home and my $800 dinner’s not presented to me, I go absolutely insane, okay?” — just one of Donald Trump‘s unforgettable quotes. Long before the shy, humble billionaire threw his hat — [more…]

Aug 202015
 
 By , August 20, 2015
Jared Fogle Story to be Told in Epic Film by Clint Eastwood

Subway’s longtime spokesman, Jared Fogle, will be featured in major biopic. Once called “America’s 6-inch sweetheart,” Jared Fogle, Subway’s longtime spokesman, now finds himself in a world of trouble. In the words of Frederick DeLuca, Subway’s co-founder, “Jared began and ended his career trying to [more…]

Aug 192015
 
 By , August 19, 2015
A Day in the Life of 'The Donald'

The Donald, likely an insult comic in another life, sits like a King. Paul Lewis, a British journalist at The Guardian best known for his award-winning investigation into the demise of Hard Rock Café t-shirts, has just returned from traveling across the USA with Donald [more…]

Aug 182015
 
 By , August 18, 2015
Bernie Sanders Tells N.Y. Times Reporter to 'F*CK OFF!'

New Body-Language Translator™ reveals Bernie Sanders and others’ innermost thoughts NEW YORK – Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders (I-Vt) indulged in a fiesta of vulgarity yesterday when responding to a question from New York Times reporter Ana Marie Cox. The award-wining columnist had asked Sanders point-blank [more…]

Aug 182015
 
 By , August 18, 2015
Presidential Candidates Share Their Fitness Routines

The 2016 presidential candidates filled us in on their (very strange) fitness programs. Most people think candidates only run their mouths, but according to reports, Hillary runs 20k every morning, Bobby Jindal performs the plank for 65 minutes a day, and Donald Trump swears by a rigorous [more…]

Aug 162015
 
 By , August 16, 2015
The Millennials: Generation Degenerate

Meet Generation Y, aka the Millennials They answer every question with a shrug. They use sepia-toned Instagram filters to boost their confidence, and the only way to kill a vampire from this demographic is with a hand-carved mahogany stake. Yes, people, meet Generation Y, more [more…]