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Oct 022015
 By , October 2, 2015
NASA: California Now Above Mars on Water Scarcity List

California drought, paired with discovery of water on Mars, forces NASA reappraisal. The day after NASA announced they had found water on Mars, the agency revised its list of places in the universe with the least amount of water. California, along with the Sahara desert [more…]

Sep 282015
 By , September 28, 2015
GOP: Pope a Secret Muslim?

Republican leaders have many concerns about the Pope’s place of origin, such as: Do Argentinean bears really do it in the woods? WASHINGTON, DC – Like the composition of Howdy Doody’s olfactory organ and the tendency of our ursine brethren to park among the bark, [more…]

Sep 282015
'The Donald' to Name Individuals to Serve in a Trump Presidency

A Trump presidency might include Sarah Palin, Mel Gibson and the recently located Elvis Presley, say sources. By Jerrold Hirsch Reliable sources say that “The Donald” has begun naming names regarding who would serve in a Trump presidency if he is elected. Pundits say that Trump [more…]

Sep 102015
 By , September 10, 2015
'You're Ugly!' Insults Break Out Among Rival GOP Candidates

GOP Candidates vie to top each other’s insults after Trump successfully mocks Fiorina WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump says he was only talking about Carly Fiorina’s “persona” — not her looks — when he suggested that shuddering Republicans couldn’t possibly vote for “that horsey, arrogant, [more…]

Sep 082015
 By , September 8, 2015
Kanye for President! No, Seriously.

If egomaniac The Donald can do it, why not egomaniac The Kanye? “Let’s not forget that the Terminator once managed the eighth largest economy in the world, so why can’t I, a musician, entrepreneur and demigod, be the one to win back the title of [more…]

Sep 062015
 By , September 6, 2015
Day Care Employees Fighting Mad 'Fight Club' Busted

Fight Club: but not the way Chuck Palahniuk envisaged it Obviously bored with their mundane lives, staff at a day care decided to inject a little excitement into their job — by starting their very own “Fight Club.” On Thursday, shortly after two workers were [more…]