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Mar 302015
 
 By , March 30, 2015
Piers Morgan: Top Gear's Newest Host

BBC’s Top Gear finds its new host, Piers Morgan Since Jeremy Clarkson’s dismissal, rather farcically, the BBC ‘rumor mill’ has been doing overtime. With Donald Trump, Bill Cosby and Noam Chomsky all previously linked with the vacant role, the fact that Piers Morgan has just [more…]

Mar 302015
 
 By , March 30, 2015
ISIS Now Going in One Direction

“I feel like I’m doing the right thing, it’s time to make my parents proud.” – Zayn Malik, formerly of One Direction Zayn Malik admits that even he was surprised by the worldwide reaction to his announcement that he was leaving One Direction to join [more…]

Mar 262015
 
 By , March 26, 2015
BBC's Clarkson: The Newest Face of Fox News

“I can’t wait to have him kicking and screaming here at Fox News, quite literally.” – Roger Ailes Following the BBC’s announcement that longtime broadcaster Jeremy Clarkson‘s contract will not be renewed after an “unprovoked physical attack” on a Top Gear producer, the controversial presenter [more…]

Mar 232015
 
 By , March 23, 2015
Secret Service: Clear and Present Wager

Secret Service director wants ‘fake’ White House to train agents Joseph ‘Joe Joe’ Clancy, the new head of the party-loving Secret Service, has just asked Congress to spend millions on building a fake White House so agents can actually protect the real one. “’Fun House,’ [more…]

Mar 232015
 
 By , March 23, 2015
Would-Be Pontiff Ted Cruz Turns Blood to Ice

Ted Cruz candidacy ‘a Miracle,’ say Tea Party activists Washington, DC — Following reports earlier today that Pope Francis had performed a “miracle” by turning an amulet of dried blood into fluid, would-be secular pontiff Sen. Ted Cruz responded by announcing his own run for [more…]

Mar 222015
 
 By , March 22, 2015
Calling Clichés 'Old Hat,' Florida Seeks to Ban Them

Florida: The Farcical State After an employee of Florida’s environmental protection department was sentenced to seventy lashes and a mental health evaluation for violating Governor Rick Scott’s ban on the terms “climate change” and “global warming” in the workplace, Sen. Clarence William “Wild Bill” Nelson II [more…]

Mar 212015
 
 By , March 21, 2015
Apparitions: Ireland's Love for Seeing the Impossible

Just the latest apparition reported in Ireland’s religiously-fueled history Last Friday, in a Dublin pub, an American tourist claims to have seen and photographed the image of Christ in a pint of Guinness. Sightings of the Virgin Mary and Jesus, usually in Bee Gee form, [more…]

Mar 212015
 
 By , March 21, 2015
White House Down

It ain’t just the Secret Service partying at the White House Beer pong, flip cup, pill-popping, cocaine solution-drinking and womanizing. No, this is not just an average day at Charlie Sheen’s condo. With the likes of Fox News and Benjamin Netanyahu on your ass 24/7, [more…]

Mar 172015
 
 By , March 17, 2015
No Sign of Cotton-mouth

Sen. Tom Cotton made a floor speech steeped in controversy today. What Iran needs now is a more liberal leader, a Mullah Lite, if you will. #assholes This is the tweet that caused such a stir in the Senate, and the man behind it,  Sen. [more…]