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Diane de Anda

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Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire. Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.

Mar 172017
 
 By , March 17, 2017

BREAKING NEWS: Angela Merkel belted out her true feelings in the shower today.

Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, was recorded singing this variation of “Getting to Know You,” the Rodgers and Hammerstein song from the musical The King and I, in the shower:

Angela Merkel

In the shower, Chancellor Merkel imagined herself as Gertrude Lawrence, playing Anna.

Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to hate you
Knowing you hate me too.
Getting to know you
Putting it your way
Not nicely,
You are precisely
My enemy.

Getting to know you
Getting to feel so uneasy
When I am with you,
Getting to fear what you’ll say.
Haven’t you noticed
Suddenly I’m very queasy,
Because of all the horrible and new
Things I’m learning about you
Day by day.

In related news, speculation has been running rampant as to who bugged her shower.

Feb 242017
 
 By , February 24, 2017
Trump to Extend Federal Protection to At-Risk Bully Students

Administration counters criticism by helping certain “at-risk” youth To try and stem all the criticism of the Trump administration for removing federal protection for transgender students, Sean Spicer announced to the press that “President Trump is issuing federal protection for an ignored group of at-risk [more…]

Feb 212017
 
 By , February 21, 2017
New Marketing Study Finds Keys to Success and Failure

Some products “Just miss the mark”: Marketing study New findings from a large marketing study have just been released by the UCLA School of Business and Management. They relate that in a highly competitive free enterprise economy, it was important to determine which products with [more…]

Feb 162017
 
 By , February 16, 2017
Trump Rails Against 'Fake President'

Alec Baldwin and SNL come under fire Trump has begun to realize that his overuse of the term “fake news” whenever anything critical of him is written in the press is getting old and losing its credibility, even with his supporters. He has decided to [more…]

Feb 162017
 
 By , February 16, 2017
President* Trump Grants Interview to Humor Times

The so-called president tells editor, “I’m glad you report ‘faux news,’ not ‘fake news!’” Reporter: “Is it true you’re going to reinstate waterboarding?” Trump: “Yes, I think it’s the only way we can bring the truth to the American people. We will be waterboarding members [more…]

Feb 142017
 
 By , February 14, 2017
Disney Productions to Release Animated White House Drama

Classic Disney characters to assume key White House roles For the first time in the history of Disney Productions, the company is developing a new animated feature using familiar Disney characters for political satire. Always in the market for good drama, Disney executives were, of [more…]

Feb 052017
 
 By , February 5, 2017
Melania Trump, Absentee First Lady

Rumors fly regarding Melania Trump’s absence in the White House Melania Trump appears to be an absentee First Lady, which has caused a flurry of rumors. First, a number of people have done the math and realized that if Trump is counting on eight years [more…]

Jan 252017
 
 By , January 25, 2017
Trump to Reinstate Waterboarding to 'Get at the Truth'

Aides claim waterboarding will bring a ‘new era of truth’ Claiming he is fulfilling his promise to make government more efficient, Donald Trump today signed an Executive Order he says will “kill two birds with one stone” by reinstating waterboarding. Trump announced to Republican senators [more…]

Jan 232017
 
 By , January 23, 2017
Trump Announces Official White House News Outlet

Press secretary proclaims new era for ‘free press,’ thanks to the White House. Amid all the controversy over Trump’s war against the media, he made a stunning announcement today: “To stop the fake news that the lying liberal press like the New York Times is [more…]

Jan 162017
 
 By , January 16, 2017
Trump Inauguration to Be a Real Circus, Say Aides

Trump tweets his inauguration will be the ‘Greatest Show on Earth, believe me!’ As more and more entertainers have found excuses to refuse or to back out of invitations to the Trump inauguration, desperate staffers have been in a frantic search for replacements. Finally, a [more…]