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Diane de Anda

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Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire. Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.

Apr 232017
 
 By , April 23, 2017

Aid for men who can’t control themselves around women needed, says Pence

It now appears that Vice President Mike Pence may have had something else in mind, other than conversion therapy for gays, when he made this statement on his year 2000 congressional campaign website: “Resources should be directed toward those institutions which provide assistance to those seeking to change their sexual behavior.”

Mike PenceBased on information provided anonymously from one of the Vice President’s staff, his main concern was providing services for men who have a hard time controlling their sexual urges in the presence of women. The aide mentioned that the Vice President has referred to these individuals as an ignored and spiritually tortured demographic.

The aide emphasized the great passion and empathy the Vice President has for this group, given his own struggles. He related a recent incident in which a young woman entered a room where the Pence was sitting alone helping himself to a doughnut and coffee. In answer to the his cries for help, the aide rushed into the room and found Mr. Pence sitting very rigid and covered in a cold sweat.

Once the aide entered the room, his composure became more relaxed, and he asked the aide to join him until he was able to stand up. When the aide reminded him he had a meeting in five minutes, Pence pulled out his cell phone and called his wife. “I’ll be ready to go as soon as I hear her voice,” he said.

Mr. Pence has sent a proposal to President Trump to lobby for funding of research into different forms of therapy for this population other than self-flagellation, cold showers, and being handcuffed to your wife.

Hearing that the President laughed and threw the proposal in the wastebasket, the Vice President intends to take his proposal to fellow Republicans in the Senate, adding a special provision requiring compulsory therapy for those in denial.

Mar 282017
 
 By , March 28, 2017
New Game Craze Inspired by Donald Trump

Donald Trump’s closing of his Time magazine interview with “Because I’m President, and you’re not!” has sparked a whole new game craze Donald Trump’s closing of his Time magazine interview with “Because I’m President, and you’re not!” has sparked a new game craze across the [more…]

Mar 172017
 
 By , March 17, 2017
Angela Merkel Belts Out Her True Feelings

BREAKING NEWS: Angela Merkel belted out her true feelings in the shower today. Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, was recorded singing this variation of “Getting to Know You,” the Rodgers and Hammerstein song from the musical The King and I, in the shower: Getting to know [more…]

Feb 242017
 
 By , February 24, 2017
Trump to Extend Federal Protection to At-Risk Bully Students

Administration counters criticism by helping certain “at-risk” youth To try and stem all the criticism of the Trump administration for removing federal protection for transgender students, Sean Spicer announced to the press that “President Trump is issuing federal protection for an ignored group of at-risk [more…]

Feb 212017
 
 By , February 21, 2017
New Marketing Study Finds Keys to Success and Failure

Some products “Just miss the mark”: Marketing study New findings from a large marketing study have just been released by the UCLA School of Business and Management. They relate that in a highly competitive free enterprise economy, it was important to determine which products with [more…]

Feb 162017
 
 By , February 16, 2017
Trump Rails Against 'Fake President'

Alec Baldwin and SNL come under fire Trump has begun to realize that his overuse of the term “fake news” whenever anything critical of him is written in the press is getting old and losing its credibility, even with his supporters. He has decided to [more…]

Feb 162017
 
 By , February 16, 2017
President* Trump Grants Interview to Humor Times

The so-called president tells editor, “I’m glad you report ‘faux news,’ not ‘fake news!’” Reporter: “Is it true you’re going to reinstate waterboarding?” Trump: “Yes, I think it’s the only way we can bring the truth to the American people. We will be waterboarding members [more…]

Feb 142017
 
 By , February 14, 2017
Disney Productions to Release Animated White House Drama

Classic Disney characters to assume key White House roles For the first time in the history of Disney Productions, the company is developing a new animated feature using familiar Disney characters for political satire. Always in the market for good drama, Disney executives were, of [more…]

Feb 052017
 
 By , February 5, 2017
Melania Trump, Absentee First Lady

Rumors fly regarding Melania Trump’s absence in the White House Melania Trump appears to be an absentee First Lady, which has caused a flurry of rumors. First, a number of people have done the math and realized that if Trump is counting on eight years [more…]