White House Adds ‘Dignity and Morality Waivers’ to Ethics Waivers

White House Adds ‘Dignity and Morality Waivers’ to Ethics Waivers

Move will ‘supplement recent ethics waivers,’ providing relief for an ‘administration beleaguered by fake moral concerns,’ said Spicer. In a move George Orwell called “Me-ian” from the grave today via GoogleSeanceTM technology, the White House … Read more

Princess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment

Princess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment

‘She just loves having her pussy grabbed by the President-Erect!’ Ivanka wept, referring to Donald’s new housemate, Pam Bondi. ‘It’s not fair! Waah!’  NYC – First Lady-Elect Princess Ivanka Trump burst into tears today after … Read more

Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

‘Orwellian Obedience is Ordered to be Ordinarily Observed,’ says first Tenet via Trump Tweet. “We’re going to win so much, you’ll get sick of winning,” begins a statement released today by Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump’s … Read more

Trump to Sell ‘Indulgences’ in Advance for Federal Crimes

Trump to Sell ‘Indulgences’ in Advance for Federal Crimes

Trump’s plans to monetize his presidency include “Pardons in Advance,” “limited” access to daily CIA briefings, and “ten minutes alone” with Melania’s old shoe collection. NYC – The Trump transition team announced today that immediately … Read more

Republicans Advise: ‘Get Over It’

Will Durst

A few choice words for all Republicans advising Democrats to “stop whining and get over it.” And now a few choice words for all Republicans advising Democrats to “stop whining about the election and get … Read more