White House Adds ‘Dignity and Morality Waivers’ to Ethics Waivers

White House Adds ‘Dignity and Morality Waivers’ to Ethics Waivers

Move will ‘supplement recent ethics waivers,’ providing relief for an ‘administration beleaguered by fake moral concerns,’ said Spicer. In a move George Orwell called “Me-ian” from the grave today via GoogleSeanceTM technology, the White House … Read moreWhite House Adds ‘Dignity and Morality Waivers’ to Ethics Waivers

A Fly on the Wall at an Early Trump Cabinet Meeting

A Fly on the Wall at an Early Trump Cabinet Meeting

What were the first Trump cabinet meetings like? Wonder no more… “OK, are we all here?” demanded the President Select, as he rushed in fashionably late to his own White House staff meeting. “Yes, Mr. … Read moreA Fly on the Wall at an Early Trump Cabinet Meeting

Trump Orders All Cabinet Members to Wear Shock Collars

Trump Orders All Cabinet Members to Wear Shock Collars

Cabinet members’ shock collars are reportedly the idea of Steve Bannon In yet another stunning move toward keeping leaks from reaching the press, the president issued a mandate that all cabinet members be required to … Read moreTrump Orders All Cabinet Members to Wear Shock Collars

2017 Resolutions We Should Be Making

Will Durst

Most resolutions are as unique as a white sweat sock in a junior high boys locker room. All right everybody; time to slap on a happy face and start thinking positively about the upcoming twelve … Read more2017 Resolutions We Should Be Making

Princess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment

Princess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment

‘She just loves having her pussy grabbed by the President-Erect!’ Ivanka wept, referring to Donald’s new housemate, Pam Bondi. ‘It’s not fair! Waah!’  NYC – First Lady-Elect Princess Ivanka Trump burst into tears today after … Read morePrincess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment

Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

‘Orwellian Obedience is Ordered to be Ordinarily Observed,’ says first Tenet via Trump Tweet. “We’re going to win so much, you’ll get sick of winning,” begins a statement released today by Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump’s … Read moreTotalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

Trump to Sell ‘Indulgences’ in Advance for Federal Crimes

Trump to Sell ‘Indulgences’ in Advance for Federal Crimes

Trump’s plans to monetize his presidency include “Pardons in Advance,” “limited” access to daily CIA briefings, and “ten minutes alone” with Melania’s old shoe collection. NYC – The Trump transition team announced today that immediately … Read moreTrump to Sell ‘Indulgences’ in Advance for Federal Crimes

Republicans Advise: ‘Get Over It’

Will Durst

A few choice words for all Republicans advising Democrats to “stop whining and get over it.” And now a few choice words for all Republicans advising Democrats to “stop whining about the election and get … Read moreRepublicans Advise: ‘Get Over It’

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