Don't Reign on My Parade! - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

Top 10 things our humble Emperor plans for his parade day on Constitution Avenue, celebrating his birthday!

Sparing no tax-payer expense, I hear there’ll be Rocket Launchers, Missiles, Fighter Jets & the occasional leftover drunk still marching from last year’s St. Patrick’s Parade!

So much to do, so little time! Let’s take a peek at Trump’s Military Parade To-Do List!

Trump’s Personal TOP 10 Parade Prep List

10. Wear 2 Maxi Pads!

9. Check for ‘Grassy Knolls’!

8. Set up private rehearsal with Girl Scouts, Campfire Girls & ‘Seventeen’ Magazine Cover Girls!

7. Make damn sure Elon’s watching this! Even if FBI’s Kash Patel has to strap him to a chair!

6. Dust off my ‘Special Occasion’ 6 inch Elevator Shoes!

5. Find ‘Camouflage Ear Muffs’ for the ’79 Birthday Gun Salute’!

4. Persuade Melania to skip parade because she’ll get her own after the Mid-Terms!

3. Invite Ukraine’s Zelenskyy to see how it’s done!

2. Convince the newly released January 6th Insurrection Chain Gang to sit on a Rose Parade Float!

And the #1 thing I, Donald Trump, have on my list to prepare for the big day…

Tell ‘Love Sick’ Laura Looney Loomer if she jumps out of my Birthday Cake naked, I’ll let her wash my… socks!

* Sorry folks, there is no ‘Reign Check’ – I’m here for the next 4 years!

Author
Recent Posts

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha