Mark Carney Declares Himself Prime Minister of Canada
Prime Ministership assumed by Mark Carney as Ottawa media cheers, checking maps. By Scott D. G. Ventureyra OTTAWA — In a stunning act of democratic innovation, Mark Carney has … Read more
fake news
Canadian War Plans Leaked
Another person accidentally added to a DoD chat leaks Canadian war plans to the press. By Corey Spondent Not long after the Signal war plans leak, another war … Read more
HHS Secretary RFK Jr. to Slash Meals on Wheels in Favor of McDonalds
Federal funding for Meals on Wheels, “that wasteful nutrition program,” will be cut, says new McDonald’s fan RFK Jr. Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced … Read more
Trump Declares Portions of First Amendment Invalid
President announces that he has declared select portions of the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment invalid. President Donald J. Trump hosted a smorgasbord for alt-right journalists and Administration functionaries … Read more
Musk Scolds Seniors: ‘Your Spree of Waste, Fraud and Abuse is at an End’
Doge maven Elon Musk said he will draw Social Security’s record of profligate waste, fraud and abuse to an end. Vowing to “do for Social Security what I’ve … Read more
JD Vance Launches Online Etiquette School, ‘Thank Youniversity’
The grand opening of VP Vance’s new online etiquette school will teach the nuances of using the phrase “thank you.” In an interview with Faux News following his … Read more
Trump Unveils TR-47 Fighter Jet on White House Lawn
Future News: At the start of his third year of his second term of office, Trump christens new fighter jet. Future News: Commemorating the start of the third … Read more
Mel Kiper Jr’s Latest Mock Draft Has Bears Drafting Actual Bear
ESPN expert’s mock draft has the Bears taking a Maine black bear in the first round. Calling the current draft class thin, ESPN draft expert Mel Kiper Jr … Read more
Spacejacked ‘Slobbonauts’ Return from 9 Months in Outer Space with Twins
Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Spacejacked Slobovian Slobbonauts have returned to Earth, thanks to American Elon Musk’s Space X company. Spacejacked Slobovian Slobbonauts Unda Major Colonel Fonda … Read more
White House Reveals New Shock Troops Press Corps
Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt reveals new “right-minded” Shock Troops Press Corps. White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt revealed at a press briefing at the White House on Thursday … Read more
