Marco Polo Pool Game Cause of Numerous Deaths in Orlando
The children’s pool game, Marco Polo, is dangerously annoying. Joseph Puerile, 84, was rushed to Orlando Regional Medical Center, where he was later pronounced dead. The cause of … Read more
humor
FIFA Condemns Cannabilism, Ruminates on Luis Suarez
FIFA chews over action against Luis Suarez RIO DE JANEIRO — FIFA today issued a statement soundly rejecting cannibalism “whether on the field or off,” and ordered Uruguayan … Read more
Ripping the Headlines Today, 6/24/14
Ripping the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, … Read more
Lost Journal: Learning the Online Lexicon (LOL)
Journal entry: August 2, 2009 (age 40) – Learning the Online Lexicon (LOL) In this age of e-mail and online instant messaging, a new and quickly evolving vocabulary … Read more
1950s Science Flicktion, or The Creatures from Saran Rapp IV
Growing up with trite and mindless 1950s-style science fiction Star Trek, Terminator, X-Men… and today’s youth think they have it rough. Ha! They should try growing up with … Read more
George Will Assaulted by Feminist ‘Swat’ Team: Gains Status, Privilege
George Will infamously said sexual victimhood confers status and privilege, now he proves it. Conservative columnist George Will was sexually assaulted by a six-woman squad of feminist “swat … Read more
American Tourist in Italy Excited to Visit the ‘Sixteenth Chapel’
Seeking to broaden his horizons, an American tourist visits Italy American tourist and college grad, Richard Head, recently decided it was time to get some culture in his … Read more
Animal Rights Activist Wants Gummy Bears Taken Off Market
Gummy Bears, while cute and tasty, set bad example SAN DIEGO, CA — Gummy Bears candy has been around for decades, giving children the world over a fun … Read more
President Obama Makes America Forget About Missing Malaysian Airplane and Kidnapped Nigerian Girls
Jedi mind tricks employed by President Obama? Just a few weeks ago, news about missing Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 and schoolgirls kidnapped in Nigeria dominated the headlines. However, … Read more
How to Watch the World Cup
World Cup watching advice, American style The refrain has echoed across the globe our entire lives. “The World Cup is the most exciting sporting event on the face … Read more
