Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/2/16

Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/2/16
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Kanye for President! No, Seriously.

Kanye for President! No, Seriously.
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.

If egomaniac The Donald can do it, why not egomaniac The Kanye? “Let’s not forget that the Terminator once managed the eighth largest economy in the world, so … Read more

Putin Park: If Freddy Krueger Designed Disneyland

Putin Park: If Freddy Krueger Designed Disneyland
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.

More fun than you can shake a nuke at: Putin’s military theme park is fun for the whole family. Fancy a lunch of boiled brown bear and beetroot? … Read more

Pope “Let’s Be” Frank: A Religious Renegade

Pope “Let’s Be” Frank: A Religious Renegade
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.

A huge Rambo fan, Pope Francis is a religious renegade of sorts In the words of Father Thomas Rosica, the press secretary for the Vatican, “This is the … Read more

The FBI is Watching YOU

The FBI is Watching YOU
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.

FBI surveillance planes now dot the skies over America On the network’s 3 a.m. show, aptly named Pink Eye, Fox News panellists recently discussed conspiracy theories. “High tech helicopters in the … Read more

John McCain Goes All John McClane

John McCain Goes All John McClane
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.

Pissed about ISIS, Senator John McCain ambushes the President On Sunday, like a rabid baboon, Senator John McCain emerged from the bushes and launched a vicious attack on … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 10/14/14

Ripping the Headlines Today, 10/14/14
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 8/12/14

Ripping the Headlines Today, 8/12/14
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

John Boehner to Sue Every Living American

John Boehner to Sue Every Living American

House Majority Leader John Boehner says Americans have been freeloading, and it’s time to pay up. The House voted Wednesday to authorize John Boehner to sue President Obama … Read more

Donald Trump: ‘Obama Worst Boy Scout Ever’

Donald Trump: ‘Obama Worst Boy Scout Ever’
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

“Excuse me, have you ever seen the President lead a cabinet meeting in singing ‘Michael Row Your Boat?’” – Donald Trump In his latest salvo directed at President … Read more

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