Caffeine Issue Wakes Up a Sleepy Campaign
In an effort to jolt President Obama’s reelection hopes, Democrats are making an issue of Mitt Romney’s aversion to caffeine. By Ben Krull.
Romney
40 Percent of ‘Loser 47 Percent’ Were Going to Vote Romney; Change Minds
Turns out, 40% of those 47 percent-ers Romney denigrated were going to vote for him. Now? Not so much. Humor Times Faux News Special Report by James Israel.
Romney Attempts to Explain Himself: ’47 Percent Just Not All That Exceptional’
Romney has tried to clarify his remarks about the 47 percent of Americans: “What I meant to say is American exceptionalism exists in a very few of us.”
The Romneys Tour Presidential Bunker, Are Appalled at Condition
If they get in, the Romneys plan a overhaul of the White House, including elevator shafts for their Cadillacs. But what to do with the Presidential Bunker?
Spinning the Zero Bounce
Gov. Mitt Romney got the same kind of Bounce you’d expect from an anvil dropped onto a swamp. An echoing abyss of whistling emptiness. — Will Durst.
Obama Tries to Cool Heated Debate: ‘Death Valley and Aziza Tie for Hottest’
Determined to make peace among nations, Pres.Obama declared a “tie” between California’s Death Valley and Aziza, Libya, as the hottest place in the world.
Ryan Loses it; Tells Romney to Walk Like a Man
Paul Ryan tells his presidential running mate he walks “like a baby” to and from podiums — says he has “no swagger.” Humor, satire, by P Beckert.
Workshops Planned to Keep GOP Convention Attendees Out of Trouble
The GOP Convention is here, and there are plenty of extracurricular activities available. So the RNC is working hard to keep attendees out of trouble.
Pat Robertson: ‘We Did It! We Prayed Away the Gay!’
If not for Pat Robertson and his followers, and their efforts to “pray away the gay,” Hurricane Isaac would surely have destroyed the city, he explained.
Revealed: Mitt Romney Would Prefer to Trade Places with Paul Ryan
Romney assured the RNC that with Paul Ryan atop the ticket, he himself would be at least as good a vice president as Joe Biden. By P Beckert.
