Marco Polo Pool Game Cause of Numerous Deaths in Orlando
The children’s pool game, Marco Polo, is dangerously annoying. Joseph Puerile, 84, was rushed to Orlando Regional Medical Center, where he was later pronounced dead. The cause of … Read more
Sly Mockery
Animal Rights Activist Wants Gummy Bears Taken Off Market
Gummy Bears, while cute and tasty, set bad example SAN DIEGO, CA — Gummy Bears candy has been around for decades, giving children the world over a fun … Read more
Father’s Day Iron Dad Competition Cancelled Due to Lack of Registrants
Father’s Day “Iron Dad Competition” squelched due to nothing but “Softie Dads” available BIRMINGHAM, AL – The “10th Annual Father’s Day Iron Dad Competition,” set to take place … Read more
Kim Jong Un to Replace North Korean Meteorologists with Jim Cantore
Jim Cantore not excited about prospect of working for Kim Jong un Supreme Leader Kim Jong un was hopping mad this week when, for the umpteenth time, his … Read more
David Schwimmer Offered Starring Role in Revamped CSI Series
David Schwimmer played Ross Geller on the NBC hit television sitcom Friends Producers of the CBS hit series CSI: NY, which was cancelled last year, have announced today … Read more
Disney Execs Happy with Raising Admission Prices Again
Minnie and Mickey Mouse lose it during Disney press conference ORLANDO, FL — Disney announced last week that they are raising their park entry fees once again to … Read more
Post Office Delivers Package on Time, Causing Senior Seizures
Prompt delivery by the Post Office? Too shocking! Delores Doldrums, age 67, has been sending various care packages to her nieces and nephews for decades and not once … Read more
God Particle Found in DNA of Boston Nun
DNA test: God particle could be lesser known Jesus particle Sister Mary Catherine Ruth McTierney of Boston, Massachusetts, has found herself smack dab in the middle of a … Read more
Mud Boggin’ and BBQ Cook-off at Bundy Ranch to Draw More Militia
Bundy Ranch events for fun-loving militia Contrary to news reports from several mainstream media outlets that the stand-off at the Cliven Bundy ranch was devolving into a free-for … Read more
Rich Hoarder Found in Filthy Home Amid Piles of Money
One hoarder who did not bother with newspapers or junk City workers with the local Health Department in Dallas, Texas, were called to the 1300 Block of Throckmorton … Read more
