Georgia Congresswoman: No More Allah Mode
The Lawmaker said the idea of “Allah” as Arabic for “God” had overtaxed her patience and ought to be taxed. Rep. Dorcas Farkas, (R-Ga.) has introduced a bill … Read more
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Trump Names Houston Astrodome as Newest Immigrant Prison
Recycling reaches its apogee as the Astrodome enters a new phase in its illustrious history. More than 60 years after it debuted as “the eighth wonder of world” … Read more
Arizona Woman Arrested for Writing Shocking Note to Underage Girl
The note prompted swift action from a mental health professional. An Arizona woman is in custody after allegedly sending a suggestive birthday message to her 15-year-old self. Tessa … Read more
Palace Source: Longing for Cracker Jack Prize Fed “Randy Andy” Sexcapades
An anonymous spokesperson says Prince Andrew overcharged his libido with sugar because of a simple misunderstanding. A source close to the British Crown reports that Prince Andrew, 65, … Read more
Trump to Implement Anti-Woke Testing for Government Hiring
The administration said the exam would screen out undesirable indoctrinators. Taking its cue from the Oklahoma Department of Education, the Trump administration will implement a series of exams … Read more
Cracker Barrel Logo Uproar Goads Mortuary Chain into Restaurant Business
The demise of Cracker Barrel’s old logo means the birth of a new restaurant chain timed to take advantage of the backlash. Conservative-populist backlash against the Cracker Barrel … Read more
Trump to Place Statue of Hulk Hogan in Capitol Rotunda
Hulk Hogan, sculpted by a renowned American artist, will take his place among the nation’s political immortals. Saying that he misses “the Hulkster” already, President Donald Trump said … Read more
Lawmaker Seeks Greater Diversity on Alabama’s Death Row
The state senator says certain demographics are underrepresented among the state’s death row inmates. Alabama State Sen. Crispin Flake (R-Impetigo Springs) announced in a press conference yesterday that … Read more
Hegseth Named Point Man on New Guidelines for Alcohol Use
Hegseth will tackle the administration’s growing concern about the level of alcohol consumption among Americans. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has been named point man on President Donald … Read more
Trump and Putin Meet in Alaska to Discuss Dismemberment of Ukraine
Trump and Putin attempted to settle their differences by means familiar in the home lives of many Americans. Accompanied by a 48-member contingent of Russia’s National Guard, the … Read more
