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Marilyn Sands

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Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.

Aug 202017
 
 By , August 20, 2017

Statues under attack!

Who knew they had such a strong Union — but there they were marching wing to wing — but luckily I understood Pidgin!

Peter, Paul & Peggy were not shy to speak out & I translated:

“We don’t care about who won the Civil War, had slaves or conspired with Putin — we love statues, period!”

TRANSLATION:  Trump doesn’t really care about statues — he’s just deflecting!

“Car’s windshields take a back seat to statues — but we do aim for the head!”

Pidgeons Statues

TRANSLATION:  Trump-doesn’t-really-care-about-statues — as long as he gets an indoor one!

“But, the best place to drop a few are on signs that say, “Don’t Feed the Birds!”

TRANSLATION:  Trump-doesn’t-really-care-about-statues — or what’s giving us the runs!

Statues

“We pigeons are known to pass the ‘mirror test’ — the ability to recognize its own reflection in a mirror!”

TRANSLATION:  Trump-doesn’t-really-care-about-statues — but passed many a mirror & went back for seconds!

“We also have the ability to return ‘home’ and carry messages in wars!”

TRANSLATION:  Trump-doesn’t-really-care-about-statues — but dusts the Red Button every morning just to scare Gen. Kelly!

“When we soil buildings; we’re not marking our territory — we have no agenda!”

TRANSLATION:  Trump-doesn’t-really-care-about-statues — he wants Steve Bannon and the world on its knees!

“Accept that some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue!”

TRANSLATION:  Trump-doesn’t-really-care-about-statues — according to him…he’s never ever been crapped on!

***

Aug 082017
 
 By , August 8, 2017
Comedy from the Borscht Belt!

I don’t want to beet around the bush — but Russians do have a sense of humor. And here for comedy night, one of those jokesters just climbed up on stage… “And now, straight from The Kiev Kiosk — here’s the top female comic in [more…]

Aug 052017
 
 By , August 5, 2017
Glammed-Up Huckabee Sanders Goes Bonkers, 'Network' Style!

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders “mad as a hatter” White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders walks up to the podium, pulls at her fake eyelashes and defiantly wipes off her professionally applied ruby red lipstick… “Well, I’ll tell you what happened.  I just [more…]

Jul 272017
 
 By , July 27, 2017
Donald Jr. Gets Pinkish Slip from Orangish Father!

A letter from Donald Sr to Donald Jr Dear Fruit of my Loins Disappointment, What were you thinking?  You call yourself a Drumpf? Didn’t you get the Memo — we don’t even like Russian Dressing! Frankly, Donald Jr, your lying is lousy — don’t you [more…]

Jun 252017
 
 By , June 25, 2017
Russia/U.S. Adjacent -- A New Map is Born!

What is Russia’s real end game with America? Or, let me put it this way — The Russians are coming!  The Russians are coming! What’s Russia’s real end game with America — a domination-invasion land grab & as a bargaining chip — give back Rhode [more…]

Jun 162017
 
 By , June 16, 2017
Melania's Tweet Moratorium Tweaks Twit

Now that Melania has climbed into bed with the President & joined other 1st ladies who have done the same… No — let me start over. Now that Melania has joined Martha, Dolley & Mamie in their duty to sleep next to their husbands, she’s ready [more…]

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