Inaugural Committee Made Last Ditch Effort to Dig Up Celebrity Attendants

Inaugural Committee Made Last Ditch Effort to Dig Up Celebrity Attendants

Lacking any big name celebrities, the inaugural committee resorted to bizarre decision regarding Andrew Brietbart. With just days until the swearing in of Donald J. Trump to the office of president, it has been revealed, … Read more

Brietbart Updates Company Health Care for Men

Brietbart Updates Company Health Care for Men

Brietbart rolls out circumcision reversal plan: “Making Employees Complete Dicks Again.” Brietbart News, better known for their alt-right white supremacist views than their concerns for peoples rights, announced a new addition to the limited health … Read more

Softball Debate Questions Submitted Late: Trump to Staffer, “You’re Fired!”

Softball Debate Questions Submitted Late: Trump to Staffer, “You’re Fired!”

The Trump campaign has fired a second high-level staffer over a failure to meet debate deadline requirements. The Tuesday deadline for selecting the candidates that would appear on stage during the first Republican debate, which … Read more

Gay Marriage is Last Straw: Conservatives Revolt as ALEC Drafts New Constitution

Gay Marriage is Last Straw: Conservatives Revolt as ALEC Drafts New Constitution

ALEC’s bold new constitution aims to salve the GOP sadz. The American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC, a Koch subsidiary), sent out an emergency e-mail to their employees who currently hold elected office, offering a quick … Read more

Competing GoFundMe Campaigns to Relocate Strom Thurmond’s Remains

Competing GoFundMe Campaigns to Relocate Strom Thurmond’s Remains

A speech by the late Sen. Strom Thurmond’s son prompts civil war among 2016 GOP candidates. During todays South Carolina senate session, the youngest son of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond, State Sen. Paul Thurmond, … Read more

Senator Graham Drops Balls for Women’s Vote

Senator Graham Drops Balls for Women’s Vote

Seeking to attract a mostly-overlooked constituency by the GOP, women, Sen. Graham goes for the gold. South Carolina senator, Republican presidential hopeful and future gay rights activist Lindsey Graham broke from his conservative party today … Read more