Barron Trump Enrolls at Trump University
According to online rumors, Barron Trump was rejected by Harvard – but luckily he had a solid backup. 19-year-old Barron Trump, scion of President Donald J. Trump and … Read more
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Future News: Trump Receives Honorary Degree from Harvard
An honorary degree was conferred on Trump by Harvard, after which he delivered a Commencement Address. Slightly Future News: On Thursday, May 29, 2025, President Donald J. Trump … Read more
Harvard to Offer Degree in Pirating and Plundering
Harvard says it’s simply adapting with the times and preparing “for the end of America as we know it.” In an effort to adapt with the times and … Read more
ZTF: Freedom’s Orbit
Second chances and renewal came to mind when I learned that the comet “ZTF” will become visible soon, after a cosmically brief 50,000 years. It’s never too early … Read more
Lady Liberty Sings the Blues
Lady Liberty still beckons as she sings the blues. “Behold! I do not give lectures…” (Walt Whitman) A marketable Parisian-style literary critic who taught in SUNY-Buffalo’s English Department … Read more
The Particle Poet’s Inflammatory Smoking Jacket
One colleague’s smoking jacket was rumored to be the same one he had worn for twenty years without being dry-cleaned. Most faculty dressed casually in the once upon … Read more
President Biden to Unveil New College Student Homicide Forgiveness Program
Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) New “College Student Homicide Forgiveness Program” announced to give unfortunate killers a new start. If by chance in 1965 you killed your … Read more
Donnie’s Grade Three Report Card
Michael Cohen may have threatened Trump’s colleges for him, but not his grade school. And we have his report card. “[Trump] directed me to threaten his high school, … Read more
Operation Varsity Blues: Rich Is as Rich Does
Colleges involved in the Operation Varsity Blues scandal announced internal investigations destined to get to the bottom of things somewhere near the turn of the next century. Stop … Read more
Mid-Term Addendum to My Syllabus for Freshman Composition II
A teacher’s list of banned excuses for not reading the syllabus or being prepared for class. Dear Students, Sometimes I long to return to simpler days of student … Read more
