CDC Breakthrough: ‘Butt Bump’ May Prevent Colds and Flu
The butt bump may just be the safest greeting of all New research findings just released from the CDC show that the “butt bump” may be the safest … Read more
fake news
Lucifer, in the Flesh, Welcomes Comparison to Cruz
Satanic Council defiantly embraces Ted Cruz: ‘The miserable son of a bitch is a natural for us!’ says Lucifer. HADES – The Satanic Council today “totally rejected” claims … Read more
Trump Wins Big with Americans Regretting Not Growing Up in 1930s Germany
Donald Trump pledges to blame socialists and Democrats when the Capitol Building is burned down shortly after he becomes president. WASHINGTON — Today, Republican presidential candidate and fascism-friendly … Read more
Orangutan Father of Donald Trump in ‘Total Despair’ after NY Primary
“I can’t believe you idiots actually voted for that hairless baboon,” hand-signaled Kiki, the orangutan identified as the biological father of Donald Trump. BRONX, NY — Kiki, the … Read more
Billionaire Sheldon Adelson Buys The Onion
The big-bucks GOP donor and casino mogul cited Sunday’s Boston Globe anti-Trump front page as the main motivator to purchase The Onion. LAS VEGAS – Casino billionaire Sheldon … Read more
GOP to Bring in The Fixer: ‘Turd Blossom’ Karl Rove
Karl Rove could be the party’s last resort to stop Donald Trump It is common knowledge that Donald Trump continues his popularity among the conservative populace who aren’t … Read more
BREAKING: Koch Brothers Running for President
The Koch brothers have decided that they will have to be the Republican presidential candidates themselves. An anonymous source has informed this reporter that the Koch brothers are … Read more
Bernie Sanders Receives $225,000 Debate Invoice from Hillary Clinton
Hillary says speaking invoice includes senior discount for Bernie WASHINGTON — Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont received a response to his proposition … Read more
Panama Papers: Karl Marx Posthumously Awarded Nobel Economics Prize
“The Panama Papers scandal shows that Marx’s analysis of capitalism was tragically accurate.” – Nobel Prize Committee OSLO – Norway’s Nobel Prize Committee announced today that it was … Read more
Republican Party Releases Immigration Policy
Republican’s immigration policy makes waves immediately The Republican Party has finally released its immigration policy platform with regard to immigrants from Mexico and other Latin American countries. Latinos … Read more
