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Jan 302016
 By , January 30, 2016
Hawkeyes and Granitoids

What genius chose Iowa and New Hampshire to host the first primaries, anyway? And now the question that’s been dancing on the lips of politically concerned citizens for decades. Who’s the genius that chose Iowa and New Hampshire to be the first and most influential [more…]

Jan 262016
 By , January 26, 2016
New Yorkie Values

Is it fair to make sweeping generalizations solely based on longitude and latitude? To taunt his rival and sow seeds of evangelical doubt, Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz informed Donald Trump that the rest of the country was concerned about his alarming New York Values. Totally [more…]

Jan 182016
 By , January 18, 2016
The Real State of the Union

The State of the Union: it’s complicated In his last State of the Union Address, that renowned weaver of uplifting platitudes, President Barack Obama, crocheted his constituents one final quilt of bittersweet melancholy to remember him by. Not a victory lap so much as someone [more…]

Jan 052016
 By , January 5, 2016
Predictions 2016

Zero-waste policy: please cherry-pick your favorite predictions for 2016 and dump the rest. At the beginning of a new year, cultures all over the world traditionally perform peculiar ceremonies meant to wipe the slate clean and start afresh. The Chinese hide knives to ward off [more…]

Dec 302015
 By , December 30, 2015
2016: What to Expect

We here at Durstco have compiled a political forecast for 2016 It’s hard to believe, but we’re on the brink of another presidential election year. Let us pray. Every quadrennial, the American political process plays out as a big-top carnival sideshow featuring moral contortionists, ethical [more…]

Dec 212015
 By , December 21, 2015
Candidate Holiday Traditions

Each presidential candidate has his/her own unique way of celebrating the season, and we have uncovered them all for you! It’s the most wonderful time of the year. And a large part of what makes it so goldarn fabulous is the festive array of idiosyncratic [more…]

Dec 152015
 By , December 15, 2015
Smite Might

America doesn’t need a bully like Trump, just a bullying pacifist. Bullies love fear. And once they sniff its smoke, the real pros know how to fuel and exploit it. Always claiming to represent the greater good, when what they specialize in is looking out [more…]

Dec 082015
 By , December 8, 2015
Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2015

Not just another 2015 Top Ten list! Be still your beating hearts, because the agonizing wait is over. Wake the kids. Rake the leaves. Fake speaking in tongues. Yes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, when the eagerly awaited list of Top Ten [more…]

Dec 022015
 By , December 2, 2015
The Carnival-Barking Jester Who Would Be King

Donald Trump has single-handedly wrecked rectitude Get out the big black Sharpie and pull down the official Presidential Campaign Manual because its time to redact the rules. Reality television star Donald Trump has altered the way politics is played to an extent that is game-changing. [more…]

Nov 252015
 By , November 25, 2015
Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving Oddities

Paying tribute to the proud perspicacity of plucky pilgrims in a pacific paean to our peculiar propensity for plumpish poultry on Thanksgiving. – Will Durst