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Aug 172017
 
 By , August 17, 2017
Thermonuclear Chicken

Time to dig a bomb shelter and stockpile some Kool-Aid, before the thermonuclear fireworks start. Time to dig a bomb shelter. Stockpile some Kool-Aid. Nibble some Tootsie Rolls while catching a double feature at the drive-in. Pull out your pedal pushers and Hula-Hoops. Stick a [more…]

Aug 022017
 
 By , August 2, 2017
Apparently, Trump is a Winner Surrounded by Losers

Donald Trump is a winner. Just ask him. Donald Trump is a winner. Just ask him. After all, he won the presidential election. They don’t get much bigger than that. And winners find it distasteful to hang with losers. And that is exactly what someone [more…]

Jul 272017
 
 By , July 27, 2017
Fifth Avenue Requiem

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and wouldn’t lose voters.” – Donald Trump Anybody remember when Donald Trump boasted, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and wouldn’t lose voters.” Now that we’ve seen [more…]

Jul 222017
 
 By , July 22, 2017
Trump Crime Family's Fake Sons

Why shouldn’t we believe the people surrounding Trump, who haven’t told us the truth, ever? And now, a few choice words about Donald Trump… Junior. Seems as if the eldest son of the Trump Crime Family is not the brilliant hotheaded tactician that Santino was [more…]

Jul 132017
 
 By , July 13, 2017
The Ping-Pong Effect: Executive Orders

Donald Trump derided Barack Obama during his campaign for using Executive Orders, but he has now become addicted to the handy shortcut. Donald J Trump has many tools at his disposal. Both Houses of Congress. The support of rural America. Friends in high places. His [more…]

Jul 072017
 
 By , July 7, 2017
Dear Noble Rustics Who Gave Us Our 45th President

A letter to you real and true Americans who chose this president to lead Last November, you real and true Americans chose a New York City real estate developer as our 45th President because of your disdain for people who have done this sort of [more…]

Jun 192017
 
 By , June 19, 2017
Snowflakes Want Me to be Nicer to Trump

This award-seeking, hard-hitting, investigative journalistic feature has been harshly criticized by certain grammatically-challenged snowflakes. I need to stop and thank all the nice folk who’ve been kind enough to take time from their busy schedules to provide this column with some constructive criticism. By the way, [more…]

Jun 132017
 
 By , June 13, 2017
Comey Don't Play That

A major factor in this “he said/he said” squabble between Trump and Comey is a credibility gap the size of the Louisiana Purchase. Millions of Americans watched transfixed as James Comey testified in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee, and no, that’s not an oxymoron. [more…]

Jun 102017
 
 By , June 10, 2017
Make America Jurassic Again

Trump thinks climate change will be good for America, apparently. President Donald Trump possesses a style described by friends as virile and intuitive and by foes as oafish and oblivious. Some see him a breath of fresh air, with a disarming directness, and others consider [more…]

May 252017
 
 By , May 25, 2017
Best Radioactive Spider Ever

Trump claims the President he has special powers. Apparently he was bitten by a radioactive spider. Donald John Trump is keeping people busy. He’s got staffers, lawyers, streaming news alert editors, impeachment historians, ethics investigators, hair spray manufacturers, Putin watchers, real-estate interpreters, all frantically flapping [more…]

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