sports

Major Crime Scourge Morphs Into Latest Pro Sports League

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Major Crime Scourge Morphs Into Latest Pro Sports League
Ted Holland
Ted Holland
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland
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Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Is there life after football? Thanks to a crime spree turned pro sports league, you bet! (Seriously, Las Vegas is “jacked.”) Carjacking … Read more

Corporations Win Olympic Gold in ‘Downhill Ethical Backflip’

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Jim Hightower
Jim Hightower
National radio commentator, writer, public speaker, and author of the book, "Swim Against The Current: Even A Dead Fish Can Go With The Flow," Jim Hightower has spent three decades battling the Powers That Be on behalf of the Powers That Ought To Be - consumers, working families, environmentalists, small businesses, and just-plain-folks.

Twice elected Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Hightower is a modern-day Johnny Appleseed, spreading the message of progressive populism all across the American grassroots.

He broadcasts daily radio commentaries that are carried in more than 150 commercial and public stations and on the web.
Jim Hightower
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The collective ethical backflip has been quite impressive: from the high ethical bar of human rights into the pits of crass, unprincipled commercialism. By far the top team … Read more

A Shot in the Park: Immunization in Sports

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A Shot in the Park: Immunization in Sports
Dennis Rohatyn
Dennis Rohatyn is a recovering philosopher who hibernates in Southern California. He writes about the inhuman condition, as he peers out from inside his lonely cave.
Latest posts by Dennis Rohatyn (see all)

Before the 2021 NFL season began, the Las Vegas Raiders announced a “get tough” policy, requiring proof of immunization. Before the 2021 NFL season began, the Las Vegas … Read more

Now for a Sports Post: Jimmy G vs Patrick M

Now for a Sports Post: Jimmy G vs Patrick M
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James Israel
The Humor Times founder/publisher/editor/writer may wear a lot of hats, but he likes it that way. Still, his favorite job is writing fake news articles. He is also a musician and songwriter, who plays guitar, mandolin and harmonica, with several CDs to his credit.
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Okay, enough politics. Now for a sports post. Being a SF 49er fan, I just had to harp in on this with an uncharacteristic (for me) sports post, … Read more

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Laptop Dog

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This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Laptop Dog
Ralph Lombard
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!
Latest posts by Ralph Lombard (see all)

Trump is Putin’s laptop dog. Trump’s legacy lies in his claims to defame. Those that demand the most respect invariably give the least. Propagandists attack in formation. Republicans … Read more

COVID at the Bat: a Revised Poem

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COVID at the Bat: a Revised Poem
Kristopher Wood
Kristopher Wood
Humorist and political commentator at kristopherwood.com
Kristopher Michael Wood is a humorist and political commentator. His work has appeared in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The American Bystander and Points in Case. In a past life, he worked as a lighting programmer for The Late Show with David Letterman and as a roadie for Radiohead, Elton John and Sheryl Crow, amongst others.
Kristopher Wood
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The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Miami nine that day, with COVID at the Bat: The Covid tests they took were few, with sixty games to play, And … Read more

Washington Nationals Sign Fauci

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Washington Nationals Sign Fauci
JC Wade
J. Wade is a retired Chief Financial Officer from Missouri. He has had humor articles published in the Humor Times, USA Today, The Journal of Irreproducible Results and Unhinged Magazine, which is now defunct (not his fault).
Latest posts by JC Wade (see all)

After the famed immunologist threw the first pitch in their home opener, the Washington Nationals had to sign him. The Washington Nationals stunned the baseball world today when … Read more

Slobovian Sports Legend Unveils New International Sports League

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Slobovian Sports Legend Unveils New International Sports League
Ted Holland
Ted Holland
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland
Latest posts by Ted Holland (see all)

Slobovia hopes to fill the need for competition with the new sports league. Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Baron Otto Von Klanginbangin, who ranks as one of … Read more

Everyone’s a Winner: How to Enjoy Sports When There Are No Sports

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Everyone’s a Winner: How to Enjoy Sports When There Are No Sports
David Martin
Dave's political satire and short humor have appeared in most major North American newspapers. He is also the author of several humor collections including "Dare to be Average", "Screams & Whispers" and "King Donald I" available on Amazon.
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No sporting events to watch? No problem: the author shares his secret method to enjoy sports like never before! I knew I’d reached my pandemic breaking point when … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 3/23/20

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 3/23/20
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

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